Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Mascot Diaries. Part 5

My name is Jyngjyng. I am an Ailuropoda melanoleuca melanoleuca, or "panda" for common purposes. My kinsfolk and I number roughly 1590, which is 1528 more than I personally know, but as you know, this number is tragically small.

Some family members get shipped off to zoos in America or Japan because China uses us as political pawns. Travel may sound exciting to you, but us pandas generally just want to be left alone, away from the prying eyes and cooings of humans who think we are "cute".

Would you appreciate it if your sexual fumblings were broadcast on Youtube to entertain adults and minors alike? i thought not.

I admit, a few of us enjoy the attention, but most of us do not. Personally, I have always felt cheapened by people who do not care to look past my fuzzy exterior.

So think about how I feel having been assigned the "opportunity" (ahem?) of being an Olympic mascot, as if my (so-called) life weren't under enough of scrutiny as it was. I can now add in work where humans will not only look at me, but worse yet i have to smile at them, and (shudder) hug them.

Yes, i am forced to hug the very creatures who murdered my brethren and now graciously rescue us from extinction.

Thank-you, humans! Thanks a whole bunch! Us pandas are so fucking lucky that we have you to protect us. Pardon my language.

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