Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Hulu the Weird Cat

Hulu's been at my apartment for a few weeks now. He's Q's cat. Q's presently taking a holiday in Nepal and hiking around and taking large format photos.

Everybody agrees Hulu is a weird cat.

He likes being pet, but he never plays.

He's definitely the loudest cat i've ever come across.

He occasionally yelps or squawks while standing otherwise motionless in the middle of the room. i wonder if he might have gall bladder issues or something.

A coworker insists that he should be legally blind, seeing his tendency to walk into pieces of furniture.

Also, unfortunately, he like to shit around the place. Q and i have read numerous websites which suggest numerous causes and fixes, none of which have had noteworthy results.

My prognosis: the cat spends too much time alone in an apartment. He's got Stockholm Syndrome, where his captors are the only ones available to give him any affection. In addition, he hates going out of doors, and is nervous to step out into the hallway even.

i presume that when he's displeased he's more likely to piss/shit in places he ought not piss/shit, ie. my bed, the sofa.

So he generally stays out of the bedroom, and the sofa has a lovely shit-smeared layer of cardboard on it.

i give him attention and affection when i can. However, he continues to crap in inappropriate locations. Which i patienty clean up the next day. Consistently websites say Don't Stick His Nose In It, Don't Punish Him, Or You'll Make The Situation Worse.

Well i tried it a bit anyways, but it didn't seem to help any, so now i just say "Hulu! Bu hao!" Make him think i'll stick him in it then let him wander off.

Oh well, it's only another wk, and then i'll let Q have another go at it. It's weird, this behaviour only started up when Q moved to her new apt, maybe 6 months ago.

Last night was wine club night w/ me and Heza and coworker Jacq. He got lots and lots of hangout time w/ us, but at the end of the cuddly night i'm SURE he was plenty annoyed that i stuck the cardboard bk on the sofa, and kicked him out of the bdrm.

Tough love after i caught him getting into take-a-shit position on the couch 3 times already that afternoon!

From these experiences i conclude that i'm not ready for parenthood.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Stupid SUV Drivers Ruining MY Air!!!

The other day, outside of my school, was a Porsche SUV picking up some student, who i most likely don't know. It was a not atypical day where the horizon and not so distant buildings had been bleached into various shades of white due to particulate matter in the air, particles coming from factories, and vehicle exhaust systems.

So i was thinking, "This is YOUR fault, Mr Porsche SUV driver! You are making this shitty air quality that everyone in the city (and beyond) has to live with."

Of course, after a moment's contemplation i remembered myself. Ok, so this dude has got a shiny expensive pollution spewing machine. He pbly got it in the last 2 years. Before the last 2 years, he pbly had a smaller pollution spewing machine, and when he was young, he pbly had none.

He pbly grew up in a time when luxuries were scarce, almost as scarce as conveniences. Maybe he grew up in a 2nd/3rd world country which held places like energy-consuming Canada up as the ideal.

More likely than not, my own life and lifestyle has contributed more to shitty air quality than his polished black Porsche. The number of times i've been air-born across oceans, the miles covered in auto-vehicles, the energy i've used to live in Canadian climates, goods produced for my consumption before resting in landfill sites, etc etc.

Point being, to get off my f'ing high horse.

No comment about the methane gas which comes out my horse's ass, far too frequently. Ka-ting!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

No Lesbo Prom?

Sent off this email today to Itawamba Schools superintendent Teresa McNeece since it bugs me that her school cancelled prom after a girl invited her gf to be her date. And then guess what: the student body all got mad at the girl for ruining graduation. (What a bitch).

Dear Ms McNeese,
I first read about Constance McMillen and the prom issue on The Guardian website. I'm often interested to see how journalists "spin" the news to suit themselves. In this article, i was surprised to see the author's spin was much stronger than usual. However i found myself in full agreement that your school board's actions were "cowardly".

In a world where many people are only now finding the courage to be themselves and to love the ones they love, I find it shameful that a SCHOOL BOARD, which stands as an example for society has chosen to cancel prom in order to avoid any possible problems that may arise from a student whose lesbian date may be deemed by some as unconventional.

i sincerely hope you can rethink your decision, and allow the Itawamba HS (and supporters of this issue) have the best party of a prom ever.


Dunno. i assume it only goes through some filter where it will be counted as 1 EMAIL ABOUT CONSTANCE MCMILLAN. But that was the brief 2 cents i wanted to say. Thx to Dan Savage (link on the side bar) for Ms McNeece's contact.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Nietzsche Family Circus

When one has not had a good father, one must create one.

A friend just turned me on to The Nietzsche Family Circus, which i think is pretty ingenious. Refresh, refresh, refresh...

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Meeting the GF's Parents


After landing dn briefly in bj, i quickly jettisoned off (yes, in a plane) for Lanzhou to meet Q's parents.
Lanzhou, fyi, is a medium-sized city, population 5 million. Interesting place in that for all it's medium-sized population, it's VERY chinese. Meaning, that there's not so much foreign influence as far as i could see. No McDonalds or Starbucks, didn't see any other laowai (foreigners), etc.

Its decorations for Spring Festival far surpass anything i've seen in BJ. Surely millions of yuan have been spent on massive light displays, dragons, and sphinx-sized robotic tigers.

It also has the dubious distinction of being China's Most Polluted City. There's a comfy valley that the chemicals like to nestle in, hence high concentrations, which caused slight dizziness and head tension as we drove through the thick of it after picking me up at the airport. Which rather frightened me, but in the city itself, when we arrived it frankly wasn't so bad. "Hey i've seen worse air than this in Beijing!"

Also of inerest, is that a politician once tabled the possibility of removing... the MOUNTAIN, in order to allow more air flow. i'm not sure if this is still being considered or not.


Picked up by the father. Qianqian has already forewarned me that THE PARENTS are NERVOUS to meet ME, the first bf they've met. i felt unexpectedly relaxed. Q also forewarned me that her parents aren't big talkers, so i shouldn't TALK so much. Uh, okay. i think i can do that.

So in hte car, it's true, we don't talk that much. It's ok.

At the house, it's true we don't talk that much. No problem.

At dinner, we start talking a bit more. That's ok. Except that Q's not into this much talking, and she tells me and her dad to just eat our food, and stop TALKING. Me and her dad are like, Hey, relax, we're just talking. Quickly becomes apparent that Q is by far the most nervous person in the vicinity, much to the amusement of her dad and i.

It's alright. In the end, the parents regularly expend way too much energy preparing way too much food for me. Not to mention being persistently commited/commitedly persistent in making me overeat. i hang out with some more family. i can usually get my meaning understood, though am often less successful on the receiving end. Q steps in as translator now and again.

i meet some of Q's university friends, who she hasn't seen in years. they tend to converse at a speed and depth beyond my comprehension so i was allowed to snooze at the table a bit.

Family takes me sightseeing. Walk around. Me and the dad seem to get on in a pretty relaxed way. Mother's sweet too, though i admit i don't feel like i understand her quite so well, and i suspect she found me to be a bit of a mystery. Granted, not unlike me and my own parents, Q's parents have also been at times baffled by their daughter who had somehow strangely transformed into an artist.

KTV 2 times. Once with friends, once with family. Both times without a drop of alcohol, though not without my foiled plans to buy a round for the family. Go figure. Anyhow, i think they found my vocal stylings quite amusing. If you've ever heard me sing Moon River, you know what i'm talking about.

Other details:
-slept in gf's teen bed. Alone. She slept in her parent's bed with them. Which weirdly follows the precedent previously set, even with no bf on the premises.
-strangely saw crazier Cosplay kids than i saw in Japan
-Sex in gf's teen bed: once
-fights: 1
-Train back to Beijing: Extremely difficult to secure tickets during Spring Fest, hence was forced yet again to take to the sky.