Showing posts with label Everyday Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Everyday Life. Show all posts

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Rub a Dub Dub



Today I officially became a voice actor for the movie above. I'm a cook who's all excited to serve Mao spicy food in camp. It's a tiny bit part, but it was fun enough. To make it fit the character's mouth, the director was calling out ideas from the control studio (I was in teh sound booth). "Try saying, 'I know you like spicy food.' or 'I know you like it spicy hot' or 'now the cooks here are very good' or whatever. It wasn't really sticking to the script that close. Felt a bit sorry for those bastards spending LOONG f'ing days in that lil' room. But that's what it takes to iron out a piece of government propaganda.

(The movie is all state-sponsored, and all sorts of dirty tricks were employed to get people into the theatres and to inflate ticket sales, ha).

Somebody said i'll be getting paid for it. Which'd be cool, though i don't really expect it. Either way, my voice didn't really fit that guy's face at all, which makes me worry that it might be a bit like the scene below:

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Day 29: Zhuangguancun - 2 Much Comp Shit

Today i went to Zhuangguancun, a neighbourhood filled w/ massive buildings all filled w/ people selling computers, phones, cameras and all the bits and pieces thereof. It's almost entertaining being asked every 1 meter if you want to buy an iPhone.

"Hey handsome guy! [that's me] Looking for a cellphone?"
"No, i have one already."
"Want to get another one?"
"Why would i want that?"
"Cause it's cheap."

Later, i got bored and started asking people, "Can you find love here?"
"What?"
"Everyday thousands of people come here. Can people find a husband or wife here? Not me. i have a girlfriend. i'm just curious."
"Probably. I'm not sure."

Also, i got a new hard drive to put into my screwy Mac and a Bluetooth mouse. Yay!

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Day 18: Don't Follow SATAN




i wanted Yoyo and my super cool great aunt to meet each other, and today was the first opportunity. It kinda fell together last minute, so i was happy that me and Yoyo could swing by. 

But, stupid me, i forgot to warn Yoyo about certain topics. We dodged one bullet when Popo asked Yoyo where she lives (with me, for hte moment), but then sidetracked herself onto another question directly afterwards. 

But i also forgot to tell Yoyo that Popo's a hardcore Christian, and that she shouldn't mention anything about me having converted to Buddhism. 

It got mentioned. 

Then i/we had to deal w/ about an hour of Christian talk. I totally respect Jesus and lots of Christian ideas, but i'm not so down with hearing about how Buddhism is lies from Satan, that the BIBLE SAYS that there's only ONE God, etc etc. 

i did have to defend myself to some degree, and discuss that different people believe different things, and different people even interpret the bible in different ways, etc. I kinda imagined both Buddha and Jesus sitting with us in the room there, watching how i'd handle myself. I felt obliged to share some of my opinions but definitely didn't argue that hard 'cause Popo's 93 years old and the less i can upset her the better. She's the first to talk about the difficulties of aging, and just in the last month she's started saying stuff like, "We should meet because you never know what might happen."

Anyhow, it was a bit stressy for an hour or so, and i really hope that Popo doesn't sit around upset about how i've already begun seriously flirting with potentially sending myself to an eternity of pain and suffering in the everlasting fire. She knows i'm good, and even admitted that people of different beliefs can lead positive, loving, helpful lives. But then SATAN will take them in the end. Which hardly seems fair. Especially considering that lots of people just CAN'T even know about Christianity. Which is (obviously) WHY Christians have to SAVE you by converting you!!! Let's not get all mathematical about this. 


img from  http://bobbymcleod.redbubble.com/sets/55186/works/508630-asian-devil
 




Saturday, September 15, 2012

The House Cooling Party

That's the poster made by Yoyo, my gf!

A while ago, me and D had our House Cooling Party. 'Cause we were getting kicked out. Lease up, landlord's daughter moving bk to BJ, us booted out to make space.

So we threw a party to say gbye to our swanky pad. Themed it Dispossessed Peoples of the World, bought a bunch of booze, invited lots of people, plus their friends and relatives. Anyhow, interesting mix of people came out. A few people from work, from my running group, from around. Good balance of possibly 40% Chinese folk (mostly Yoyo's friends). Lots of whom i just met that night.



Also the winning crew who barely beat my team in the world's shortest triathlon that very afternoon, also came out which was pretty hilarious. Pretty damn fun party, it turned out. Just lots of fun interesting people. Semi-professional musicians jamming in the bedroom. Smokers on the balcony when the rain let up. Skater-style art give-aways donated by Yoyo's friend. (He suggested doing a lottery, but i knew that trying to organize it would be impossible at that point).

Neighbours had been warned of the party, and knew my phone # in case we became a headache. But the cops arrived anyways. Not that i saw them. Derrick didn't either. But someone turned the music down and they went away. A few days later, i learned that it was a woman in a house across the street who called them in. Fuck, it wasn't that loud!

But there was a lot of people. Maybe 40? A bit tight to navigate through the lounge. Even the crappy dip i made got consumed. It really was a great spot for parties, but when i was w/ Q, she was like, "i hate parties," so like, we never had anything more than a few people over for din.

Lots of people who couldn't make it out told me they were sorry to miss it. "Yeah, well, no problem. i didn't actually talk to anybody the whole night somehow." Or at least i don't particularly recall doing so. But i was also tipsy enough that my memory of the whole night's a bit on the hazy side anyway.




Wednesday, August 29, 2012

30 points to Up To Date.


Guess what? I'm still here. I scratched my elbow back in Canada, but somehow got through it.

Summary:
  1. Started dating a lovely woman named Yoyo.
  2. Went to Canada.
  3. Tried to help my parents stop bickering w/ some degree of success.
  4. Did some hiking.
  5. Mountain bike camping.
  6. Boat camping.
  7. Visited some of my wonderful friends, even though the time was too short.
  8. Snubbed a few by not visiting. (sorry)
  9. Ate veg lasagna, olives, pesto, Mexican, org veg from the garden.
  10. lots of clean air.
  11. one bachelor party
  12. voted against going to the peelers
  13. didn't miss my flight back to China
  14. house hunted with Derrick
  15. went to Chengdu and Shenzhen w/ 18 other journalists.
  16. My managers got chewed out for not telling me more directly what to do
  17. 'Cause i kinda slacked it.
  18. Chengdu: boomtown
  19. Shenzhen: life post-manufacturing boom
  20. Scored an apartment.
  21. mini triathlon on Saturday.
  22. 1500m race on Saturday.
  23. Probably can't do the 1500m race for CRI, 'cause i'm double booked.
  24. with the triathlon.
  25. So maybe will run w/ my group Sat morning.
  26. House-cooling party in teh evening.
  27. Wow, all caught up in 26 pts.
  28. There is no 28.
  29. Or 29.
  30. 'cause everybody likes round numbers.
(31. Yu Wenxia: role model for Chinese women around the planet)

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Run Run Run (Take a drag or two)


I joined a running group.
They run f'ing early every Saturday morning.
Sometimes they run up a mountain on Sunday.
They run barefoot in a field a lot.
They record you sprinting and analyze the footage.
They're pretty much all foreigners.
They're a rather friendly bunch.

i joined 'cause i need to get more in shape before the great wall marathon.
And then i signed up for a race in the grasslands of inner Mongolia.
Might do the BJ marathon too, later.
Why not.

Missed registration for the 10k race that started in Tiannanmen Sq this morning.
So took the new subway to the end of the line to explore and run bk home.
Thought it'd be 20k.
But it was actually over 40k.
Oops.
Stops included, it took 7 hrs before i got bk.
Yay.

Also, believe it or not, ever since Europe last yr, my gut's been a tad bigger than it oughta be.
But for now, i do fit into my pants again.

Friday, March 30, 2012

C4 - The Show Taking China By Storm!


After shooting 3 pilot episodes which were all considerably worse than this official premiere episode, the show C4 has gone live.

http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/mMpqpxnvyZI/

It's ironic that China's the master of ripping off other people's ideas and remarketing thinly veiled knock-offs, but it took CRI foreigners to create this rip off of the UK's Have I Got News For You. Well it was Rob's idea. It's entirely his show, obviously.

His original idea was that me and Stu would be team captains, always on, with rotating guests, but now we're rotating off too. Which is great. Frankly, i feel pretty inadequate in front of the camera. Last time we shot, i was feeling particularly unenergetic, and had to dig pretty deep to find anything to say. But part of me thinks that improvement could result from practice. That seems possible.

The show's 15 min long. i somehow doubt any of you will actually watch the whole thing (i wouldn't). But let me know if you do, ha.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Wet Dreams


The other night i was asleep in bed, cozily snuggled under the heavy blankets. It's bloody cold in a house that lacks working central heating, don't you know. And i was having this dream that somebody had spilled tea in the bed, and the tea was turning colder by the minute. Well dang, that ain't cozy or comfortable.

In a state of semi-consciousness, the bed was indeed wet. Oh fuck, some idiot spilled tea in the bed. Hm? That's weird who could've done that? Maybe... i reached down and stuck my hand in my underwear to reassess the situation, and sadly confirmed my suspicions.

(Oh fuck, did i really just do that? What the hell, i haven't done that in months decades!!!)

So i crawl out into the cold air, take a(nother) piss, throw my wet jammies in the hamper, and figure... well hell, everything's already soaked through. No point in disturbing Q in the middle of the night.

So i crawled bk into the wet spot and fell back into dreamland.

Anyhow, i have no explanation for the above incident. i had had one single drink of fake scotch at a bar, hours previous to hitting the sack, but took a leak as per normal before bed.

Just one of those situations where you feel blameless, 'cause it's not like you (consciously) DID anything, y'know?

Jerry Seinfeld told his daughter once, "It's good if you're embarrassed. That means you're making other people feel good." Well screw Seinfeld! Who says i'm embarrassed? i posted it on my own f'ing blog for crying out loud!

Friday, November 25, 2011

Day 25 - Breathe Easy(ish)


Oh. So that's what it feels like when you don't take your work home with you. Nice.

Funny. The CRI website has 4 "recommended" articles on it. They're all by me.

And due to someone's slip up my official job as copy editor is delayed by another week, and so i'm on reporter duty for another stretch. Everyone says how boring it is to do copy editing, though my employer tried to convey how important it is to step up the quality of the CRI website content. And yes, it can be pretty shit.

Today two people (and one was my supervisor) said i should push to get on the air doing talk radio, to make life at CRI bearable. Really. i don't want to be a downer or anything, 'cause really i'm stoked to be doing this stuff. But everyone at CRI talks about how working there sucks the enthusiasm out of you. "You need to stop caring" they commonly say. Oh come on people. Can't you let me dream for just a little bit?

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Day 20 - Finishing Touches Finished


Untitled (temporarily)
By statusq
Acrylic paint and duct tape on canvas

Well, last weekend i did work on my painting, but finished it just the other day. Still working on the title though. Like many things, it took a long time and a lot more work and frustration than is apparent in the final product. But now i feel pretty satisfied.

Here's what one critic said about it:

Red duct tape which simultaneously references the Communist flag and tools of common labour is delineated from a virtually black night sky. Partly figurative, hinting at abstraction, the towering buildings give a spatial two point perspective dynamism to the composition. Communist stars are distorted into organic splatters, creating a dichotomy with the rigidly structured city which they seek to dominate.


Wow, that guy know what he's talking about, apparently.

I also have a partner painting to go with this one, but i'm a bit uninspired/lost for the moment. Maybe next weekend.(Don't ask about the song. That one's moving backwards).

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Day 10 - (Not) Enough Time

If you had more time, what would you do with it?
-Read more?
-Spend more time with friends and family?
-Meditate?
-Exercise?
-Play music?
-Create art?
-Write a book?

Well, I'm blessed to have quite a bit of time these days, being underemployed and all. I could (and should) a bit more than i do, but tend to get distracted or lack motivation.

In fact, i try to do everything on the list above, though frankly get embarrassingly little done. It's easy to waste time on things of little consequence (although i have really been enjoying the hours of Twin Peaks lately.)

Also, in order to make myself more productive i'm going to re-enter Chinese classes tomorrow, and then hit Greenpeace for a few hours.

Inspiration on the painting and song have dwindled sharply. Deadlines are an [artist's] best friend: and i have none. If anyone out there would help me commit to a timeline, i'd certainly appreciate it. ie) If anyone out there wants to complete a song within 24 or 48 hours, i swear i'll do it too (or at least a working version).

Also, i wrote a 4500 word piece of creative nonfiction, and have been wasting all sorts of time trying to find a publisher. Sorely disappointed that Vice magazine didn't take it, since i don't know who else deals with both literature and trash...

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Day 9 - Twin Peaks


i started watching Twin Peaks, that old TV show, possibly the weirdest stuff to ever hit mainstream television, thanks to the gifted likes of David Lynch.

i love it.

i love Detective Cooper.

And i love apple pie (and coffee).

Friday, November 4, 2011

Day 5 - Til Death Do We Live

At present, I'm reading the following books:

Sherlock Holmes - The Complete Novels and Stories. Pretty good, though the stories have started to feel repetitive, with different details. Now i'm just hitting the stories highlighted on the back cover blurb.

The Copy-editor's Handbook - Kind of a nerdy, yet surprisingly interesting look at keeping keeping grammar consistent.

and

The Words of My Perfect Teacher, a book about the teachings of Tibetan Buddhism. This book, had a pretty damn dull beginning, but it's certainly gotten better, and I was into this idea in it about death. Meditating on death every night, 'cause you might not wake up in the morning. Meditate on death each morning, because there's no guarantee you'll make it to nightfall.

Even Mr Steve Jobs (who i'm rather sick of seeing and hearing about all the bloody time) said something about how if he goes through too many days feeling like he wouldn't feel satisfied if they were his last days, then something needs to change.

Unfortunately, these thoughts on death don't yet rouse me to action. For this week, before i die, i wanna: finish that painting, write another song, study more Chinese, talk a bit more w/ my girlfriend.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Detonate Intellectual War

I bought a can of walnut drink the other day. Quite tasty. Supposedly good for the brain. Marketed towards students.

I ignored the third word of the text which said it was Pulped Walnut Latex Product.

But below that, it stated quite beautifully: "POWER: Detonate Intellectual War."

Not quite sure what that meant, but I knew I had to drink it.

Bamboozled



China has a reputation for producing knock offs. Fake iPhones, fake Gucci bags, fake baby food, you name it.. There's also a lot of fake alcohol. Even a 60 cent bottle of 40% baijiu can be fake. Shots of tequila from the bar taste like tequila but they don't pack the same punch. Unless you're in a swank spot, it's always safer to stick to beer.

The other night i felt like drinking scotch, which i haven't had in a long time. So i went to buy a bottle from an int'l grocery store, but Qianqian advised me that the Russian convenience store would be cheaper.

It wasn't, but the selection was better. So i was able to choose a bottle of Glenfiddich single malt scotch, which was about CAD $40. Fine. My dad will be in BJ before long, so I don't want to disappoint him with Johnny Walker Red Label.

Upon returning home, I poured a couple glasses, toasted w/ my brother, and enjoyed. Mm good. But not that good. Sometimes i really enjoy my drink and other times not. But really. This should've tasted better than that. It tasted ok, in fact, but definitely did not taste like 40%. I was disappointed. Q said i should take it back and graciously offered to accompany me.

We went down to the store w/ a glass in hand, and said, “It's fake. We don't want it. You try it. Can we get our money back please?”

“No. It's real.”

“No, it's not. I've drank this before. It's not the same.” (Although my brain was actually struggling to recall whatever Glenfiddich tasted like).

A supervisor came in. Telephone calls were made. One converstion included suspicious information such as “He' a foreigner. In his 20s. Maybe a student.” I realized I shouldn't have dressed so casually.

We were told that the bottle would be sent for a quality control check up. It could take a week or so before we were notified of the result.

It was turning into too much hassle. I suggested to Q that we forget it and split, (to which she commented I was being a nerd).

She told them said we'd handle it tonight or she'd call the police. She said to me, “You're 100% sure it's fake, so why should you be worried?” To myself I thought, “Only 85% sure, actually.”

So what could happen? They send it off for quality check. Somebody says, “Sorry it's real,” and that's the end of it. I was scared that my tastebuds were going to be put to the test.

Five minutes later, a full refund was silently slipped onto the counter, which we pocketed before slipping out.

Success! I wasn't stuck w/ a $40 bottle of mystery scotch. We had beat the system. Or rather, Q had. She was admittedly annoyed that I had considered ducking out, after I had dragged her into the situation. But in her mind, of COURSE we'd get the money back, from this store which was totally loaded with illegally imported and untaxed goods. Well. What would the foreigner know about how things work?

The lesson: don't buy booze (cheap OR expensive) from the sketchy Russian store. Or other sketchy establishments, for that matter.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Life After Teaching

Hey gang,
Well, at the conclusion of last June, I was officially unemployed. However, before I'd gotten back to Beijing, a friend of mine who does voice work in BJ knew some guy who was looking for writers to create ESL oral tests. So I put on the tie, and did the interview where I sounded totally overconfident in my capabilities.

I did a rough calculation of my hourly wage from last year, and asked them to match 118rmb/hour. They said sure. Then i realized that $18/hr isn't that much, and holy shit, is that all i was making last year?

So i emailed the boss, asking for 200rmb/hr. "Sorry I miscalculated." And he said... okay. Wow.

Part time i've been writing dialogues and questions and editing other stuffs. Correcting enviromental misinformation whenever necessary. "Actually, the cows don't destroy the grasslands. It's just farmers who naturally accept payment to raise cattle," etc etc.

But.

This job's been just a handful of hrs/wk.

So i've kept myself busy by playing music and painting. Yay.

And also doing some writing along the side, some of which looks pretty good, but i haven't submitted any of it to anyone. My bad.

And also i've sent out some resumes.

Had an interview yesterday at Radio China International. That would be rad. But i ought not to talk much about it yet. If i get confirmation on it, i'll wax poetic. So in the meantime, you can wish me well if you so desire.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Up Up and Away

Well, sort of.

Here's my unsuper recap of summer.

Mandarin class wrapped up surprisingly quickly. I wrote the school an email and talked to some lady about the turtle who lives in an aquarium that's far too small for him, and lives a life of utter boredom and discontent, but it doesn't look like they're gonna do anything about it.

The class itself was ok, and met some nice foreigners who all speak roughly the same level of chinese as me (except that i was by far the illiterate one). And i also would have preferred a teacher who was more of a Nazi. Less friendly chit chat, and more Today we MUST get through exercises A, B, C, D and E!

Watched a bunch of vids and movies w/ my gf, who's worked as much as ever through this rainy, hot July. Transformers got slaughtered by the critics, but i thought it was pretty refreshing after the abysmal part 2. I won't tell you why, in case you go and see it. But it does some interesting historical reinterpretation.

Also: The Hangover. Pretty f'ing funny. Don't read the back of the DVD box first, if you can. Really.

And then: today i'm of to some buddhist place for a 4 day retreat. Although i'm sure the place isn't set up as a retreat centre, and there's a possibility i may be sleeping on a couch. Which is fine.

Then back for a couple days, whereupon me and Q will throw our lives into suitcases for a few weeks. YES she got the visa! So we'll be off to Budapest, Hungary for Abe and Judit's wedding. Then off solo to explore Hungary, Slovakia, Czech Republic, and Germany. Yes, it'll be a busy few weeks.

And then i'll return to a jobless life in BJ, whereupon i'm hoping that my ex-employer forgets that they gave me that 1 year visa, and DON'T cancel it leaving me an illegal resident who could get kicked out of the country forever more.

i don't expect it to come to that.

Expect more scintillating updates upon my return, dedicated readers!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Crazy summer MADNESS!!!

Well this is summer alright.
Beijing's hot and peculiarly humid. Admittedly this is my 1st July spent in town, so I'm not sure if all these sporadic torrential thundershowers are the norm.

Unbelievably, it seems like July is already drawing to a close, and what've i got to show for it? Well, i've been in mandarin classes for 3 hrs/day, 3 days/week. And that's been ok, although i'd frankly like to see yet more rapid improvement.

I've sloppily recorded most of the guitar songs i've ever written so i don't need to worry about forgetting any more of them.

i went running once. Did a bit of writing.

and...?

This is a disappointingly small list of accomplishments for 3 weeks. Yes, i'll be off to Eastern Europe in August, but what can i do to exploit my time here?

Intentions:
finish the painting i started 8 months ago.
Visit Fragrant Hills area.
Visit Temple of Heaven area.
Get something published on a local website.

Q is working all summer long, including some wkends, so trips out of town aren't too feasible. I kind of want to get her out more, but i know that when i was teaching i sure as hell didn't want stay up past 11:05...

In the beginning of August i'll hopefully skip out for a 4 day self-guided meditation retreat.

Also, i'm unsure about the plans for next year. After politely saying thanks but no thanks to my employer about working next year (right after i received the 1 year working visa from them), they contacted me twice to ask me to reconsider.

i had actually said that i decided not to teach FT next year, and now they just asked what that would look like. And that if I don't work for them, they'll recall my work visa. With a sigh, i responded politely saying that of course i'd be happy to work 3 days/wk.

We'll see what happens.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Q goes to Shenzhen

Q had a business trip in Shenzhen, China's "special economic zone". To oversee production of a promotional bag which uses a design of one of her gallery's artists.
5 days, they said.
But complications turned 5 into 8days. Which was a hassle.
Making bags which use some eco-friendly materials.
But (not surprisingly) the process and facilities which make said bags:
ecologically horrific.
Then she finally arrived bk in Beijing. We went for a dinner which was heavily punctuated with phone calls and messages from people in Beijing and Shenzhen.
10 hours later she was back on a plane to Shenzhen.
For 1 day. Which turned into 2.5.
Tossing all the stuff on the bag she was assigned to oversee.
Using a new design.
Sheesh, no wonder people don't like travelling for business.
This (and other recent conversations)
makes me dwell on the multitude of people who do work which is kind of useless.
Teaching hopefully shows you a bit of progress and utility.

Anyhow, hopefully she's bk soon, since...
today's our 2 yr anniversary!
And we oughta do dinner or something, eh?
Def.

Friday, May 27, 2011

The Uj

As the detective work of me and my coworker undercovered, it was a day of interest for one of my more charismatic, egocentric gr 11 students.

He was pissed off about the lunch which is delivered to students daily.
A hair was in his food.
He... punched the food employee in the head.
The mean one.
Causing the side of his head to swell up.
The food guy stabbed my student with a pair of disposable chopsticks.
An undisclosed number of food trays were thrown.
An undisclosed number of students didn't receive their lunch.
My student was taken away.

By the police.

As mentioned, this took a bit of sleuthing and coaxing out of other students.
The first response to the query about the food stains on the wall was:
"it was the wind."

Hope my student is still able to finish the school year.
Even if he's a pain in the ass sometimes,
he can still grasp some of the finer points of To Kill a Mockingbird.