Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Thoughts Which Fleetingly Cross My Mind

  1. i am very lucky to have such supportive wonderful friends
  2. H is also happy i have such supportive wonderful friends
  3. i have often comtemplated my good fortune and thought how i would have no right to complain should difficulties arise
  4. i really feel that my vipassana course i recently took is halping stay even through this break up
  5. i wonderful if being so forgiving encourages people to treat me like a doormat
  6. it's not about me
  7. i still want H to do what's right for her and to be happy
  8. i know she's done her soul-searching and put herself through the wringer
  9. so far i think i've done a good job at keeping things positive and withholding nonconstructive commentary
  10. being rejected still sux, and even though i know it's not true i sometimes feel like my personality is a long list of shortcomings and annoyances
  11. i did all i could to make the relationship work, and it wasn't enough
  12. i fully understand H's reasons to leave me, and they are just
  13. H and i still get on fine, though sometimes it's hard for me to be around her
  14. Mostly it's like before but no sex, she says, but i know i'm holding back
  15. i think H should make more mistakes and take more drugs. She might understand herself better
  16. things aren't very weird between us now, so what's the point of dwelling on the future? But i do think about it sometimes
  17. i wonder if rebounding would be bad for me
  18. Mostly i feel fine. Really. Even if you don't believe me.

2 comments:

Molly Leighton said...

I am thinking of you sweetie. Remeber, you will beat yourself up more than anyone else. Go easy on you ok? The universe has a plan.

xo

elise said...

you is MOST wonderful wil.

love you!