Well that was a weird 10 days.
Took me some time to figure out that broke up actually means broke up. Not time apart, not friends with benefits.
Then it was like hey fine, we're broke up.
Then it was like oh how fucking weird and sad, we're broke up.
We talked a lot. All honest and respectful.
We also didn't talk a lot.
Because i'd lost all inclination to share thoughts, ideas, observations, witticisms, jokes, etc.
At times i could do it, but it sure took a lot of effort.
Largely it felt more honest to say nothing.
i felt bad, 'cause i didn't want to give the silent treatment or anything, but that's pbly what it semed like.
Anyhow, we struggled through time together and time apart. We did some touristy stuff still, met up w/ my aunt and cousin, caught a show (where i was stoked when a band rocked out with Verve/Smashing Pumpkins/Pavement-esque epic guitar jams, and the lead dude wore a My Bloody Valentine tshirt).
We also had plans to check out the hot springs but when the time came i reported to Heather that i was in one of those disgustingly anti-social moods, whereupon she decided to get a massage in the hotel instead. That was a smart choice on her part.
Now we're bk in BJ and spending our 1st night in separate rooms. For a guy w/ zero capacity to have perspective, it feels fine for now.