Thursday, April 9, 2009
Pingyao is where they shot the movie Raise the Red Lantern, a good flick if you ever want to be convinced of how gossipy and backstabbing life can be when you're married to a rich but absent dude alongside of his three other wives. The setting is beautiful, and inside the walled city of Pingyao, the place just reeks of a time almost long lost.
It's a town that was once the afluent financial capital of China, where banks first got rolling. Then it fell off the tracks, fell out of favour and basically missed Modernization. Now it has discovered tourism.
J invited me on the trip, and we had a really fabulous time, like really we lucked out in numerous numerous ways, so it really felt like the stars were working with us. And we really enjoyed each others' company. Though i did notice i was averting my gaze whenever J got the puppy dog eyes thing going on me.
In many ways she and i seem like a good match. She's very adventurous, independent, cultured, intelligent, sexy, and a bit crazy (in the good way). On the down side, she's not an environmental fanatic like i am, and though i never mentioned it, i was always kinda uncomfortable with her long, torrential, boiling hot showers; and the disposable plastic cups she would use at home to avoid doing dishes.
But actually that's small potatoes, because really my heart just didn't feel so connected to her. Which i had been open about since the beginning. this came into focus not so long ago after spending an evening with J, and then the next day i met my friend (the too innocent one who had a a few dates with in winter) and felt like everything was... lighter, more alive. Too bad, 'cause even though she's really great, i shouldn't be interested in her either, since that idea already mutually got nixed.
Anyhow, shortly after our return to Beijing J called me to let me know about the deepening feelings she was experiencing. She said some really lovely things about me, but i wasn't able to reciprocate the underlying emotions. it was a rather awkward conversation with large gaps of silence. i suspect we'll call it quits, and hopefully reconvene as friends before too long.
Which leaves me... momentarily single. It's weird. i really feel like i'm looking to meet someone still. And most of my friends are single women. And one woman wants me to meet her lady friends.
Also i think that maybe, just maybe, some time spent single could be beneficial for me. But realistically i don't know if that's going to happen. Opinions, anyone?
So anyhow, maybe i'll just blindly wander into various scenes of BJ a while more and see if i can stumble across a soul-mate or perhaps a male friend...