Fucked up. Again.

Why is it that i never seem to learn any lessons?

This morning i woke up at 8:00, and left for my ferry in Kobe.

Mistake 1: assumed i'd get to kobe in 30 minutes. because although i COULD have done it, i was somehow directed onto the slow train instead of the express train.

Mistake 2: JR pass was expired yesterday.

Mistake 3: realized that my ticket says that the ferry leaves at 11:30, NOT 10:30.

Mistake 4: relaxed.

Mistake 5: thought it pragmatic to waste time buying food for the 2 day ferry ride.

Mistake 6: asked someone about what subway to take to the ferry. Ferry. Boat. Is it the harbour front? "yes yes harbour front." which way? "no, no, you have to take THAT train."

Mistake 7: believed this person. the ferry is in fact not at harbour front.

Mistake 8: took a taxi, not realizing that traffic would be frustratingly slow. Thx nonetheless to the dude who helped me find the taxi and told the old driver where to go.

Mistake 9: not realizing that in fact that the ticket which says departure 11:30, actually could (and DID) leave EARLY, around 11.

Misake 10: snapping at a woman at the info booth who was just trying to tell me the facts.

Oh.

Mistake 11: not checking to see what the name of the station is, what rail company line it's on, or how to f'ing get there.

all in all, it was one fuck of a stressful morning, running all over w/ a heavy backpack and 2 days worth of food and drink. And literally finding myself directed to run through the same train station i had run through 40 min earlier.

Citing the early departure as a reason, the ferry company generously refunded my return trip sum.

Mistake 12: decided i didn't want to waste time looking for an overpriced interntet cafe in a city i don't know, so instad took a $30 bus to Kansai airport to catch the next plane to bj was a good idea. Turns out there was only one flight left that day, for $1700. So used the moreso overpriced airport internet port, and booked a plane bk to BJ for the next day.

Then took a $12 train to Osaka for the night.

Mistake 13: carbon emissions. The flight to bj, actually goes to Tokyo first, and then changes to another airline. Weirdly, it was no cheaper to take a train to Tokyo first: the Osaka > Tokyo flight cost was ... free.

Anyhow you may well imagine the head-beating and self-denigration and general pissed-offedness that i was experiencing. Thinking about Q, and her reminders for me to get my shit together, and also about her efforts to accept me as i am, brought me to tears.

So, at any rate, all of this stuff came snowballing together making for a rather hard crash at the end of my japan trip. Now i just want to get the hell home and relax. Back in the hostel, i've been pretty antisocial, and wary to hang out w/ people.

tonight will pbly just have a solo wander and drink the sake i bought for my ferry ride.