Day 1: Chinese Halloween

There's not much Halloween in China to speak of unless you're going to expat parties. 

Well, in Mr Wang's class you can watch Simpsons Halloween episodes, and that's ok. 

And recently my bro asked me if i would dress up like a ghost and walk around an under-construction deserted chinese temple we found. For him to film. So i said sure, but we should pbly do it on Halloween. Seemed appropriate, no?

Anyhow, that's what we did lat night, w/ his gf in tow. We all agreed that the place was way less creepy w/ more of us in the group, but his gf still was a bit spooked and not at all hesitant to split after we'd got some footage. 

Upcoming. Maybe.

Well tomorrow is NaBloPoMo. Maybe i will blog for 30 days in a row. Although frankly i can't say i'm much in the mood. But who knows. Maybe i'll get enthused along the way. Or maybe i can pull off 30 one-liners.

Token Social Scene

Just to keep people informed on my life in times when i don't feel particularly inspired to write, here's all the action that's been going dn between me and society.

i went to the 798 art district and met a woman from Montreal at some headachey electronic soundscape music show held in some little artsy music store. i crushed on her for a bit until i found out she has a bf. But that's ok. She's uber cool, and i've crushed on most of my female friends when i 1st met them. i mean, why wouldn't i? Anyhow, it's cool to just hang w/ her, and she and H are sorta friends too now. 

Also, i placed an ad on a BJ site looking for friends. 1st some Australian born chinese woman replied, and it seemed completely obvious from 2 emails that she wasn't interested in any of the things i'd listed in my ad.

Someone else answered my ad, and we had some online chats. After a few days of that i asked "are you a man or a woman?" Woman, it turned out. Then we eventually arranged a meeting. then she asked how old i was. Then i got worried that she might be some 19 yr old, but she turned out to be 30, which is a fine #, i think. Then i wondered, hm i wonder what this woman will look like? Appropriately enough she turned out to be 100% gorgeous.

Anyhow we met up and had a great connection that night and got kinda tipsy and went dancing at a hiphop club which was packed w/ grinding college kids. Anyhow that was great and all, but now i typically think about where things might go from here, but we're both super busy, so it's bn hard to meet up a 2nd time. That's a drag, and it gives me too many opportunities to obsess about things, which i'm trying not to do. BTW, she's chinese and her Eng is pretty good, but not really good, so she talks to me a lot in Mandarin, which is really cool, even if truly 85% of it goes over my head. 

Also a political hipster-y photograper from the Ukraine also dropped me a line, and he sounds pretty keen to meet up when we both have some time later on.  

Also, my bro is in town now for a couple months, so i can have a partner in crime for a while. We'll dig up some stuff to do, no doubt. Hell, just walking around my own neighbourhood is totally entertaining for him, and i get my kicks too. 

My Last Post on This Topic

Heather has moved out. That's a-ok. 

i think i'm almost ready to stop calling her my ex, and start calling her my friend. 

There are still feelings to be worked out, as became aparent yesterday (long-ish story), i think things have gone well, and are going well. 

i've broken up w/ women and been broken up w/ from other women, and i guess practice makes perfect. Although there were times which were quite painful and sad and frustrating, i don't think things could have gone much better than they did. 

H and i handled ourselves maturely, with honesty, and with sensitivity. And that took effort, for sure. 

And i think i mentioned this before, but allow me to reiterate. I think H made the right decision in breaking up with me. At the time, i felt she made the right decision for her, but not for me. And that's ok. But now i think she made the right decision all round. Because if she were to tell me tomorrow that she realized it was all a big mistake and that we should still be together, i know i couldn't accept it, and that i wouldn't want to work it out.

So now, we embark on lives w/out roommates. Working together (which has always gone well, even through difficult parts of our break up). And probably hanging out here or there on the weekends, like when we're too lazy to cook food. Which is often.

Aside. The timing of her moving out is good, since my bro arrives on Tuesday. And my parents will also come stay with me later on in November.

Modern Sky 2008

In my opinion, this music fest is one of the best things BJ has to offer. 3 days of local indie bands and djs in the sun and smoggy air.  Except that this year 2 of the 3 stages got moved indoors. Oh well.

Aside from the problem that i waited in line for 2 hrs to get in on day 1, it was good to see such a big, hip, and fun crowd. I think it was about... 4% expats.

It's crazy to think that you can get into a well-set up festival with decent soundsystems, a swinging camera video system, and tons of bands for less than $10. So you might think they'd claw back some profits at the bar. But with some bartenders pouring massive unmeasured highballs (redbull vodka, gin and tonic, etc) for $1.40 a hit, i don't know how they managed.  But it makes for a fun festival.

Except that was just this one little problem.

The bands were pretty lacklustre.

Last year Modern Sky was one of the funnest music fests i'd ever been to. But this year, even the bands i really like didn't get me going. Once in a while i could say, "hey that song wasn't so bad!" but not much more. 

Bands which don't impress, kinda impact things like... music festivals. Don't ask me how, but i know it's true.

Also, this year the festival didn't bring in any international acts. Too bad, since the ones they were looking at were Lou Reid and good ol'  anguished but sweet Connor O'berst.

At least the dj stage wasn't half as monotonous as it was last year, but by day 3, i wasn't willing to stick it out late to see the electropunk djs i actually wanted to see.

Well, at the very least it was a nice place to hang out for a few afternoons and evenings. On day 1 i hung out w/ C, my new friend who i met in the art district. On day 2 i hung out with H. And on day three i hung out with... both of them, which was ... happily unweird.

I Have a Problem. But i Forgot What It Was

Let me preface this entry with an anecdote.

I was in Nova Scotia. I rode my bike to get groceries. i collected all my items and went to the till line up. Then i got up to the cashier, reached into my pocket and realized i'd forgotten my wallet. Oops. The cashier generously set my stuff aside for me.

So then i had to ride my bike all the way home. Then i watered the plants. Played guitar. And then went back to the store. Went into the line up, reached into my pocket and realized...

i like recounting this story because it's kinda funny and cute. it also describes my absent-mindedness at its best.

But.

i really don't want to be absent-minded anymore. Screw funny and cute. i think i should be a touch more... responsible by now.

i've been thinking about this because the other day i was meeting a friend to go to the Modern Sky Music Festival. She is new to Beijing. She didn't have a cell phone.

So we arranged to meet at a subway stop at a designated time.

i was stressed that i just missed my bus. But then i was happy when the following bus still got me to the station on time. She wasn't there. So i waited for 25 minutes. Then i recalled that she'd mentioned the subway station Fuchingmen, and i went to Fuxingmen. So maybe she meant Fuchengmen, which was 1 stop away. So then i ran around, taking the subway between the 2 stops a couple times.

By then it was 55 minutes later, and she was nowhere to be seen. i figured that was enough so i headed off for the festival.

15 min later i got a phone call. My friend had borrowed someone's phone to ask where i was. "Um, it's after 12:30," she said.

Oops, i had mistakenly been waiting since ELEVEN thirty. Hm. What a lot of totally unnecessary energy and stress spent. Luckily, she was super mellow and understanding about it. A stroke of luck i certainly couldn't expect from others.

This sort of thing happens more frequently than i care to admit. Once i went to a concert and showed up a week early. 

Details craftily evade me. i don't know how, but the sneaky buggers do it. 

My meditation hasn't seemed to help me much in this respect.

I really am at a bit of a loss as to how i can deal w/ this aspect of my personality.It's like the importance of things doesn't always hit home. Do i need to take more notes? Review any and all information?

If anyone has ideas, i'm open.

 

The Old In and Out

So the split between H and i has been amicable and respectful and honest enough, despite the extenuating circumstances of living and working together and having no friends in this chunk of the city.

Due to the last detail, we had decided to continue to live together so we wouldn't fall into any patterns of isolation. And also we didn't want or need the hassle and complication of divying up all of our crap, also called "laziness."

Now that we're kinda settled bk into work and BJ, i think we're doing ok w/ not feeling isolated. And we have both been making more social contacts. That's good. So despite everyone's comments that it'd be better for us to move out of the same apt, laziness became the main reason i wanted to stay in the apartment. 

But then for reasons i hadn't expected, H decided that it would be best for us to part ways. And the school does have vacant apartments available to us. So i passively concurred that yes of course this is the best thing to do, which it is.

So pbly next wk, H will start packing out. i'll stay put, as my fam is coming out to visit me here.

Also, i admit i'd be happy to find someone new to date also, and livng w/ my ex could complicate things. Is this rebounding? Could be, but frankly it feels exactly the same as large periods of time i've spent single in the past. Maybe not ideal, but whatcha gonna do?