Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Heza and StatusQ in a Test of the Wills

It's not unexpected that Heza and my relationship experiences some stress now that we're overseas, in a place where we don't speak the language, and where our social circle has become just a handful of people, whom we don't even hang w/ much.

Anyhow Heza and I have been spending a lot of time together though, for sure. Toss into the mix, slightly skewed sleeping schedules (jetlag remnants?), resulting crankiness, language barrier ineptitudes and stresses, constant heat and humidity, yadda yadda, and you get the picture.

Also I've been pretty bullheaded about wanting to see as much of the city, and do as much stuff as possible, regardless of Heza's energy level, or my own. This was also an issue in Vancouver, where i liked a super busy schedule, while Heather was more of a homebody.

In a city as insanely big as this one, i feel weirdly boxed in in this massive gated community. So i go for lots of walks outside the gates, which is ok. Anyhow, this particular day we were stuck in the complex all day due to some housekeeping. So for the evening i wanted to bust out. Heza was low energy so was staying in: no problem. But first we had dinner, which finished after dusk. Afterwards my plan was to bus to the subway and to go somewhere, anywhere that looked ok. Heza felt that plan was completely stupid. But why should that matter if she's not along for the ride? We grumbled about it a while until it really was too late for me to go off. In the end we sat on the freeway curb and smoked cigarettes. Then I refused to go bk to the apartment, choosing to walk around a bit, and then run some laps on the track before crankily turning in for a long hard sleep.

So:
I should recognize that Heza is really dealing amazingly well w/ her 1st time in a foreign developing nation.
I'm superduper happy that we're on this trip together.
I should recognize I'm not a solo traveller for the first time.
I don't feel unsafe here at all;
But I can recognize that the Unknown Quotient is def higher than in Vancouver.
And Heza admits she hasn't really felt unsafe either.
I admit that my idealized schedule is a bit bombastic.
And that Heza and I definitely have diff energy levels and sleep requirements.
Now I'm trying to ask, “what do you wanna do today/this afternoon/this evening/tomorrow” w/ a bit less insistence/frequency.
It's hard.
And Heza just wants to take things as they come.
Did you catch that role reversal? Heza's all laid-back, and I'm Mr Planner.

And the real moral of the story is:
Get the much needed 10 hr sleep before you freak out unnecessarily.

2 comments:

Molly said...

chiL wiL...It ain't goin' nowhere and certainly, you need some sleep.

Reebs said...

Hi, It's me, Reebs. I just wanted to give you a few words of encouragement. Mainly that Heza will regain her energy some day soon, and you'll likely become a bit less excited about seeing the city after you realize you're there for YEARS. So it will go back to the old some nights in, some nights out kind of style soon enough. Just be patient and NO SMOKING on the curb. On a side note, my bf is also very energetic and likes to go Go GO! Once, in Argentina, he decided he just HAD to get some place he had heard of. We were in a small town and he had a map. We followed the map for over an hour in the mid-day heat. Also adding to the fun was the fact that I had the traveler's cramps that day. Finally, after more than an hour, maybe two, of trying to get to this place on the map, he looks down at the name of the town on the map, and it WASN'T THE TOWN WE WERE IN. Yeah, that was a fun day. So just remember, don't drag Heza around if she has the shits and you have a map to another town, and all should work out fine.