Friday, December 19, 2008
My Depressed Stance
well at least i'm trying.
i mean my moods are far from uppity these days, though i don't seem to be so directly pissed off about work itself. Actually i was feeling pretty self-satisfied today that my students pbly think i'm almost as happy go lucky as usual, when really i'm not.
a couple things going on which i won't get into here, but i'm feeling pretty unimpressed w/ myself for my impatience and for being so fucking edgy these days.
But so as not to just be a whinger, i have at least started running a bit, biking a bit, doing pushups and pull ups. i have started flossing again. (it was said on Oprah that it stimulates some happy nerves). i have been forcing myself out of the apartment, even if there's no reason whatsoever to do so.
Then the other day i was on the bus, seriously thinking that all the work i've done in this life to be balanced and healthy and happy didn't seem like it had done much good. i was feeling pretty pissed off.
At the same time, i fully recognize that these moods are totally self-indulgent. It's fully possible that i'm just enjoying being sullen too much to let it go. i mean hey, how often does statusq get all grumpy and sullen? Seriously. So let a guy indulge once in a while, it's no skin off your back.