Hello, I'm the Guy Who Your Daughter's Sleeping With

Yoyo's mom is visiting her sister in Xian (where the terracotta army is). She invited me and Yoyo out for a visit, so i was like, sure why not? Might as well. Isn't sooner better than later?

Yoyo's nervous. i feel pretty normal. i think her mom's excited. Yoyo's parents thought she'd never get married. Yoyo herself figured that if she was still single by the time she reached 30, she'd just marry any ol' random dude. Luckily she met a different random dude first.

So tonight we hop on an overnight train to Xian, where i'll meet her mom, her mom's sister, her mom's sister's husband, her cousin, her cousin's husband, and her cousin and cousin's husband's baby (whom i've seen a photo of).

This is a big deal in China, since it basically implies that yr gonna marry said daughter. Which i'm ok w/. It's all kinda impromptu, so there's bn no time to think about a gift for Y's mom, nor is one required, she thinks.

But i'm annoyed that we thought we could get something for teh baby, but Yoyo thinks we should spend 500yuan on something, since apparently the mother only dresses the 6 month old kid up in western brand names. Which i think is pretty lame.

Throwing down for New Zealand baby formula, i can understand, but imported Gap Kids stuff that'll be outgrown in 6 months? Well, maybe for the Christmas party...

Day 29: Zhuangguancun - 2 Much Comp Shit

Today i went to Zhuangguancun, a neighbourhood filled w/ massive buildings all filled w/ people selling computers, phones, cameras and all the bits and pieces thereof. It's almost entertaining being asked every 1 meter if you want to buy an iPhone.

"Hey handsome guy! [that's me] Looking for a cellphone?"
"No, i have one already."
"Want to get another one?"
"Why would i want that?"
"Cause it's cheap."

Later, i got bored and started asking people, "Can you find love here?"
"What?"
"Everyday thousands of people come here. Can people find a husband or wife here? Not me. i have a girlfriend. i'm just curious."
"Probably. I'm not sure."

Also, i got a new hard drive to put into my screwy Mac and a Bluetooth mouse. Yay!

Day 28: Movie Roundup.

Here's a bunch of movies i've seen in the past few months, and some deep analysis to accompany each one. 

Prometheus. The Aliens prequel. 3/10. Costumes and set design are awesome. Dialogue and script suck. 

Date Night. 2.7/10. Steve Carrell romantic flick, which was a lot worse than i'd expected. i actually wanted to turn it off 5 min in. i'm just not into that brand of humor. 

Kingdom of Plants 3D. 8/10. Saw this in amazing 2D! Not much else i'd rather do than smoke up and watch this sort of thing w/ my gf. 

To Live. 8.2/10. Since i'd just finished the book, some friends did movie night w/ this one. Pretty darn good rendering of the book. Interesting to see how they pumped up the drama for the screen by adding elements. But (y'aint never heard this one before) … the book was better. 

Cinema Paradiso. 4/10.  Well, i watched 1/2 of it, but then i fell asleep. When i get around to finishing it, i'll let you know if the second half is much better than the first. It's apparently a classic (!) But i was tired, so sue me. 

Day 27: Fyogur Piano

Today i had some free time to kill w/ Yoyo, so we watched some Sigur Ros vids online. Music to sigh to. And the above vid is the best thing i've seen since Double Rainbow. Not to equate the two. Derrick likes it but thinks it borders on pretentious. i disagree, though the WTF factor is likely pretty high for non-artsy types.

Also, note the lead male. It's f'ing Shia LaBeouf from Transformers! Can't blame the guy for not wanting to be pigeonholed as The Transformers guy, and wanting to do some more like... acting. He looks pretty damn good in this piece. Good one, Shia. 

Day 26: Reasons to Hate the Communist Party

Oh, China. Sometimes you really fuck things up. Big things and small things. Ok, everyone (in the west) knows you oppress Ti bettin' peoples, minority groups, fallin' gong yadda yadda.

Yeah, you got a pickled carrot up yr ass when you throw bloggers in jail for crackin' jokes.

And yr corruption that allows thugs to do the govt's dirty work, and causes homeowners to self-immolate in a fight over property rights sickengingly churns the stomach.

But truthfully, the way that you piss me off the most is by hacking Google. Perhaps my hatred for Bing is exagerated. Google works fine: sometimes. And sometimes, it doesn't. Websites it links to refuse to open, as you (patiently?) watch the swirling Page Loading indicator.  Google Images is particularly prone to stalls.

Fuck it, if i have to i can use Bing, even though i'm well versed in anti-Microsoft rhetoric.

More frustratingly, Gmail simply can't be opened (occasionally). This is enough to make you punch walls, depending on what simple task you're trying to accomplish. Other times, it opens, but excruciatingly slowly.

Yoyo says (almost reasonably), "That's why you shouldn't use Gmail in China." Sorry Yoyo, but simple logic like that can't be easily applied on a guy who sadly enjoys getting all riled up about social and digital injustice.

img courtesy of http://news.yahoo.com/anti-japan-protests-china-swell-turn-violent-044101740.html

Day 25: Marathon Not

A dream ago, i'd planned to run 3 marathons this year. i registered for this last one but ended up doing zero preparation for it. i figured, ok, i can still do a 1/2, even though my fever 2 days ago had me struggling to stay on my feet after an hour.

But the final blow came this morning when the BJ Air Quality Index came in reading 340: Hazardous.

My limit for exercising outside is 250 (over 200 is already "Very Unhealthy". A  couple weeks ago, the AQI was 240, and i really wanted to do the one hr bike ride to work, so i figured i risk it. Plus i have a mask. But 40 min in, i realized i need to recalibrate my limit. My lungs were feeling tight, my breath was raspy and my throat felt like i'd been drinking something too acidic. i slowed down. i felt like my effort to be healthy was in fact poisoning me.

Today, the five people in my running group who were registered to run all decided to forgo the event.

But i had already eaten a carb-heavy breakfast, and Yoyo and i had downed our coffees. So we went down anyways just to have a peek. Also i had some coworkers who were there.

We got there 5 min before staring time. At my insistence, my coworker had left my race package outside subway exit B for me, but it had shockingly disappeared by the time i got there.

Then me and Yoyo went to see the race, and we ended up joining the whole 4km event, along w/ a thousand or so peeps, many in funny costumes. Somebody from Greenpeace saw our masks and interviewed us about air quality. Anyhow, being super disorganized worked out amazingly well, as it allowed me and Yoyo to stick together. Lucky, 'cause if we just wasted time looking for my race package and missing the race, it woulda been a bummer.

Yoyo tries on a shoe.

Day 24: Art and About

Last night Derrick had a video installation exhibited in an exhibition. Interesting event: 22 artists had work spread out through a few hutongs (old Beijing alleyways), and a decent crowd arrived to view them. What resulted was a great deal of questioning about What Is Art, as a number of works were often overlooked, blending right into the scenery (like the series of hardened white clothes hanging from a clothes line), and also a number of found objects were all recognized for their arty properties. 

Derrick's piece was a vid about our great aunt, talking about stuff like death and the afterlife. It was shown a mini screen, somewhat bigger than a smartphone, tucked into a dark doorway's mailbox. 

Fun night and crowd, despite the chilly subzero temperature. though it was weird to see a number of people being rather disrespectful towards the art. i guess that's the risk you take when you take art out of a snooty gallery and put it into the public domain. Even Derrick's piece was transformed into mediocrity by an interactive viewer. Somebody turned off his video loop and turned on the standard issue mp3 track. Coincidentally, the track was also Canadian: Celine Dion!!!

Day 23: The Beijing Zoo Market

Today (despite being kinda sick) i went out to the Zoo Market to do some research and interview some folks about this massive 8 story market that has some of the cheapest clothes in Beijing, but also is considered pretty fashionable.

The work was a bit hard since the goods are pretty much all of questionable origin, so most people were shying away from interviews and pix, and def wouldn't give me a name.

But anyhow, I rather dig the place. Lots of young people, girls who apply mascara and eyeliner for people who forgot their glasses, and tons of clothing that's not exactly what you or i call "fashionable."  Lots of loud colours, buttons, frills, and bad English. Pretentious it's not.

Xidan Market used to be more like this place, but Xidan caught up with contemporary fashion annoyingly fast. It was a lot more interesting before Uniqlo and H&M influenced everything over there.   Places like the Zoo Market are from a slightly different frame of reality, which is great. To me it's quintessential China.

Day 22: The Popular Kids

The CRI English department had a vote for best team players in its 3 offices. i thought i stood good chances 'cause i'm 95% friendly to 95% of the people, and because i work a decent amount with both Chinese and Int'l teams, i was strategically positioned.

But no. Didn't even make the top 10. What a blow to the ol' ego. i was particularly surprised to find that i gave a shit at all. 

Anyhow, pretty weird thing. One of my colleagues said, "i voted for you!" and i was at a bit of a loss, 'cause i hadn't voted for her. 'Cause there were criteria to be followed. 

And also, i voted for a bunch of people who i thought noone else would vote for (sympathy votes, my colleague termed it), one of whom was the clear winner. Hello?

Anyhow, just goes to show you what a sham electoral politics are. Fuck democracy. 

Also, if you want to see a totally hilarious (and possibly disturbing) view on democracy in a Chinese primary classroom, watch Please Vote for Me. All documentaries should be this entertaining. 

Day 21: Hunchback of Notre Dame

Got some free tix from work to see a musical performance of Notre Dame at a theatre just near the house. So me and Yoyo went. Arrived late, unfortunately, and stepped on some toes getting to our seats. Modern interpretation. Flashy stage. Lots of people and things swinging from the rafters. Some impressive breakdance moves. But not a chance in hell of deciphering the lyrics, so much of the story was kinda lost on me. Chinese people got subtitles and were likely better off knowing who was who than English speakers. 

 I thought it was alright. But Chinese people loved it. i couldn't believe the thunderous standing ovation it got. i was thinking more like 6.5 out of 10, but apparently not. I asked Yoyo what marked she'd give it, and she said 10/10. Really??? Really. Well she'd never seen such a full stage production before, and appreciated the international tunes. Really? Really. 

'Cause frankly i got more of a kick out of that show in Anhui that Chinese people couldn't get away from fast enough. Go figure.