I'm Back. Sort Of.

Had a lot of ideas for blog posts, but none of them all that exciting.

Here's one that's just a school assignment i had my gr 11's do, as part of their business letter writing project.


Choose one of the following:

• Write a letter to Linda Wong about how Yihai Garden residents are not correctly using the recycling and garbage bins, and how we can change that.
• Write a letter to Wen Jiabao about how the government should keep its promises to pay residents who lost their homes during Olympic construction.
• Write a letter to Premier Gordon Campbell about how politicians should not be drinking and driving.

i guess some of it's old news, but i need to keep myself entertained somehow or another.

Also worth noting is that while writing letters or even emails to the government in Canada is useful and beneficial and admirable, doing the same in China is generally understood to be a waste of paper and pen ink.

If you're pissed off about something or other, the avenues to pursue change seem to be limited indeed.

Here Come the Floods

Thursday: wine night w/ a few coworkers. I get a little bit tipsy and drink the sparkling white wine and the red wine that nobody wants.

Friday morning: dizzy in bed. Possibly a bit hung over. But then all day, feel kinda shitty. Chills. Head home as soon as the bell goes.

Fri evening: Qianqian brings back dinner to the apt. I don't eat. Then come the shits.

Torrential waterfall fecal matter that explodes out of the anus.

Blows my mind that so much fluid could exit the body, considering that it was exponentially more than the fluid i had recently put into my body.

Night: Go to the bathroom.
Waterfalls.
Flush.
Wipe bottom.
Stand up.
Sit down.
Waterfalls.
wipe bottom.
Go to bed.
wake up.
Bathroom.
Waterfalls.
Wipe bottom.
Stand up.
Hesitate.
Sit down.
Flatulence.
Waterfalls.
Go to bed.
Wake up.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.

Morning: Q goes out and gets some medicine, and some watermelon i requested.

Generally feel better though no energy for the rest of the weekend. Minimal appetite.

That night i eat more medicine, but pbly too late. While watching a movie in bed, i take a break to use the toilet. 15 min later i return to bed to find my gf having hit the hay.

Q assures me that I look considerably thinner than i did 48 hrs previously.

I often think about Disco Salamander's post about Dysentery Slim: diarrhoea, an incredible new weight loss product!

Still don't know what caused it, but hopefully it's gone by tomorrow morning. Q joked that i could teach a lesson about waterfalls. Uh huh.

Hulu the Weird Cat

Hulu's been at my apartment for a few weeks now. He's Q's cat. Q's presently taking a holiday in Nepal and hiking around and taking large format photos.

Everybody agrees Hulu is a weird cat.

He likes being pet, but he never plays.

He's definitely the loudest cat i've ever come across.

He occasionally yelps or squawks while standing otherwise motionless in the middle of the room. i wonder if he might have gall bladder issues or something.

A coworker insists that he should be legally blind, seeing his tendency to walk into pieces of furniture.

Also, unfortunately, he like to shit around the place. Q and i have read numerous websites which suggest numerous causes and fixes, none of which have had noteworthy results.

My prognosis: the cat spends too much time alone in an apartment. He's got Stockholm Syndrome, where his captors are the only ones available to give him any affection. In addition, he hates going out of doors, and is nervous to step out into the hallway even.

i presume that when he's displeased he's more likely to piss/shit in places he ought not piss/shit, ie. my bed, the sofa.

So he generally stays out of the bedroom, and the sofa has a lovely shit-smeared layer of cardboard on it.

i give him attention and affection when i can. However, he continues to crap in inappropriate locations. Which i patienty clean up the next day. Consistently websites say Don't Stick His Nose In It, Don't Punish Him, Or You'll Make The Situation Worse.

Well i tried it a bit anyways, but it didn't seem to help any, so now i just say "Hulu! Bu hao!" Make him think i'll stick him in it then let him wander off.

Oh well, it's only another wk, and then i'll let Q have another go at it. It's weird, this behaviour only started up when Q moved to her new apt, maybe 6 months ago.

Last night was wine club night w/ me and Heza and coworker Jacq. He got lots and lots of hangout time w/ us, but at the end of the cuddly night i'm SURE he was plenty annoyed that i stuck the cardboard bk on the sofa, and kicked him out of the bdrm.

Tough love after i caught him getting into take-a-shit position on the couch 3 times already that afternoon!

From these experiences i conclude that i'm not ready for parenthood.

Stupid SUV Drivers Ruining MY Air!!!

The other day, outside of my school, was a Porsche SUV picking up some student, who i most likely don't know. It was a not atypical day where the horizon and not so distant buildings had been bleached into various shades of white due to particulate matter in the air, particles coming from factories, and vehicle exhaust systems.

So i was thinking, "This is YOUR fault, Mr Porsche SUV driver! You are making this shitty air quality that everyone in the city (and beyond) has to live with."

Of course, after a moment's contemplation i remembered myself. Ok, so this dude has got a shiny expensive pollution spewing machine. He pbly got it in the last 2 years. Before the last 2 years, he pbly had a smaller pollution spewing machine, and when he was young, he pbly had none.

He pbly grew up in a time when luxuries were scarce, almost as scarce as conveniences. Maybe he grew up in a 2nd/3rd world country which held places like energy-consuming Canada up as the ideal.

More likely than not, my own life and lifestyle has contributed more to shitty air quality than his polished black Porsche. The number of times i've been air-born across oceans, the miles covered in auto-vehicles, the energy i've used to live in Canadian climates, goods produced for my consumption before resting in landfill sites, etc etc.

Point being, to get off my f'ing high horse.

No comment about the methane gas which comes out my horse's ass, far too frequently. Ka-ting!

No Lesbo Prom?

Sent off this email today to Itawamba Schools superintendent Teresa McNeece since it bugs me that her school cancelled prom after a girl invited her gf to be her date. And then guess what: the student body all got mad at the girl for ruining graduation. (What a bitch).

Dear Ms McNeese,
I first read about Constance McMillen and the prom issue on The Guardian website. I'm often interested to see how journalists "spin" the news to suit themselves. In this article, i was surprised to see the author's spin was much stronger than usual. However i found myself in full agreement that your school board's actions were "cowardly".

In a world where many people are only now finding the courage to be themselves and to love the ones they love, I find it shameful that a SCHOOL BOARD, which stands as an example for society has chosen to cancel prom in order to avoid any possible problems that may arise from a student whose lesbian date may be deemed by some as unconventional.

i sincerely hope you can rethink your decision, and allow the Itawamba HS (and supporters of this issue) have the best party of a prom ever.

Sincerely,
sq

Dunno. i assume it only goes through some filter where it will be counted as 1 EMAIL ABOUT CONSTANCE MCMILLAN. But that was the brief 2 cents i wanted to say. Thx to Dan Savage (link on the side bar) for Ms McNeece's contact.

The Nietzsche Family Circus

When one has not had a good father, one must create one.

A friend just turned me on to The Nietzsche Family Circus, which i think is pretty ingenious. Refresh, refresh, refresh...

Meeting the GF's Parents

So.

After landing dn briefly in bj, i quickly jettisoned off (yes, in a plane) for Lanzhou to meet Q's parents.
Lanzhou, fyi, is a medium-sized city, population 5 million. Interesting place in that for all it's medium-sized population, it's VERY chinese. Meaning, that there's not so much foreign influence as far as i could see. No McDonalds or Starbucks, didn't see any other laowai (foreigners), etc.

Its decorations for Spring Festival far surpass anything i've seen in BJ. Surely millions of yuan have been spent on massive light displays, dragons, and sphinx-sized robotic tigers.

It also has the dubious distinction of being China's Most Polluted City. There's a comfy valley that the chemicals like to nestle in, hence high concentrations, which caused slight dizziness and head tension as we drove through the thick of it after picking me up at the airport. Which rather frightened me, but in the city itself, when we arrived it frankly wasn't so bad. "Hey i've seen worse air than this in Beijing!"

Also of inerest, is that a politician once tabled the possibility of removing... the MOUNTAIN, in order to allow more air flow. i'm not sure if this is still being considered or not.

Anyhow.

Picked up by the father. Qianqian has already forewarned me that THE PARENTS are NERVOUS to meet ME, the first bf they've met. i felt unexpectedly relaxed. Q also forewarned me that her parents aren't big talkers, so i shouldn't TALK so much. Uh, okay. i think i can do that.

So in hte car, it's true, we don't talk that much. It's ok.

At the house, it's true we don't talk that much. No problem.

At dinner, we start talking a bit more. That's ok. Except that Q's not into this much talking, and she tells me and her dad to just eat our food, and stop TALKING. Me and her dad are like, Hey, relax, we're just talking. Quickly becomes apparent that Q is by far the most nervous person in the vicinity, much to the amusement of her dad and i.

It's alright. In the end, the parents regularly expend way too much energy preparing way too much food for me. Not to mention being persistently commited/commitedly persistent in making me overeat. i hang out with some more family. i can usually get my meaning understood, though am often less successful on the receiving end. Q steps in as translator now and again.

i meet some of Q's university friends, who she hasn't seen in years. they tend to converse at a speed and depth beyond my comprehension so i was allowed to snooze at the table a bit.

Family takes me sightseeing. Walk around. Me and the dad seem to get on in a pretty relaxed way. Mother's sweet too, though i admit i don't feel like i understand her quite so well, and i suspect she found me to be a bit of a mystery. Granted, not unlike me and my own parents, Q's parents have also been at times baffled by their daughter who had somehow strangely transformed into an artist.

KTV 2 times. Once with friends, once with family. Both times without a drop of alcohol, though not without my foiled plans to buy a round for the family. Go figure. Anyhow, i think they found my vocal stylings quite amusing. If you've ever heard me sing Moon River, you know what i'm talking about.

Other details:
-slept in gf's teen bed. Alone. She slept in her parent's bed with them. Which weirdly follows the precedent previously set, even with no bf on the premises.
-strangely saw crazier Cosplay kids than i saw in Japan
-Sex in gf's teen bed: once
-fights: 1
-Train back to Beijing: Extremely difficult to secure tickets during Spring Fest, hence was forced yet again to take to the sky.

Missed details and side commentary

-japanese people (women in particular) are so good at being/looking happy. Are you really so overjoyed i walked into or exited the store? It's a bit weird.
-many japanese people are nice. twice i was given a gift within minutes of random acquaintanceship.
-yes there is a strange surplus of model-esque and capital U cUte women in Japan. But in fact many of them look bizarrely similar. Such is the magic of make up.



-chatted w/ a Hiroshima bomb survivor (w/ aid of a translator)
-enjoyed the Hiroshima Peace Museum, but think i learned more from the Barefoot Gen graphic novels (again, highly recommended).
-hiked 8km from 1 historic village to another through layers of fresh snow and forests. Didn't see another hiker.
-got through 2.5 wks in Japan w/out bodily injury. Amen: no travel insurance.
-visited a number of japan's ubiquitous onsen (hot springs), including (imo) questionable electric baths which send AC current through yout body, quickly inducing your feet and fingers to tingle in a less than pleasant way.
-was curious to observe entire shelves of porn movies intended to enlighten the masses about the erotic arts of pissing, shitting, and vomiting.

And if you need any more reason to check out Japan, this trailer is all you need to know:

The Silver Lining

Nice silver linings:
1) As i was putting on my shoes for my evening of solo wandering, a girl recognized me from Kyoto, and started chatting w/ me. So i accompanied her for dinner, and mentioned that earlier i was at that Osaka gay bar. "Oh i love gay bars, let's go find one."

So we did.

And despite commentary from a DJ himself that Umeki has no good bars/clubs, the joint was pretty cool. And how can you possibly go wrong with a tranny DJ pumping out lots of old Pizzicato 5 songs, in a lounge-dance music themed night?

Funnily enough the London girl i went w/ wasn't into it. She would prefer listening to Nickelback, it turned out.

2) On the plane bk to BJ sat next to a Japanese guy who's lived in BJ for 8 yrs. Started getting my mandarin on again. He was decked out like a Ramone, used to work for the legendary bar D22, and Maybe Mars record label. Anyhow, it was quite fun shooting the breeze w/ him, and we'll pbly meet up later.

So that was all better than the piss-off ending to my trip it could've been.

Fucked up. Again.

Why is it that i never seem to learn any lessons?

This morning i woke up at 8:00, and left for my ferry in Kobe.

Mistake 1: assumed i'd get to kobe in 30 minutes. because although i COULD have done it, i was somehow directed onto the slow train instead of the express train.

Mistake 2: JR pass was expired yesterday.

Mistake 3: realized that my ticket says that the ferry leaves at 11:30, NOT 10:30.

Mistake 4: relaxed.

Mistake 5: thought it pragmatic to waste time buying food for the 2 day ferry ride.

Mistake 6: asked someone about what subway to take to the ferry. Ferry. Boat. Is it the harbour front? "yes yes harbour front." which way? "no, no, you have to take THAT train."

Mistake 7: believed this person. the ferry is in fact not at harbour front.

Mistake 8: took a taxi, not realizing that traffic would be frustratingly slow. Thx nonetheless to the dude who helped me find the taxi and told the old driver where to go.

Mistake 9: not realizing that in fact that the ticket which says departure 11:30, actually could (and DID) leave EARLY, around 11.

Misake 10: snapping at a woman at the info booth who was just trying to tell me the facts.

Oh.

Mistake 11: not checking to see what the name of the station is, what rail company line it's on, or how to f'ing get there.

all in all, it was one fuck of a stressful morning, running all over w/ a heavy backpack and 2 days worth of food and drink. And literally finding myself directed to run through the same train station i had run through 40 min earlier.

Citing the early departure as a reason, the ferry company generously refunded my return trip sum.

Mistake 12: decided i didn't want to waste time looking for an overpriced interntet cafe in a city i don't know, so instad took a $30 bus to Kansai airport to catch the next plane to bj was a good idea. Turns out there was only one flight left that day, for $1700. So used the moreso overpriced airport internet port, and booked a plane bk to BJ for the next day.

Then took a $12 train to Osaka for the night.

Mistake 13: carbon emissions. The flight to bj, actually goes to Tokyo first, and then changes to another airline. Weirdly, it was no cheaper to take a train to Tokyo first: the Osaka > Tokyo flight cost was ... free.

Anyhow you may well imagine the head-beating and self-denigration and general pissed-offedness that i was experiencing. Thinking about Q, and her reminders for me to get my shit together, and also about her efforts to accept me as i am, brought me to tears.

So, at any rate, all of this stuff came snowballing together making for a rather hard crash at the end of my japan trip. Now i just want to get the hell home and relax. Back in the hostel, i've been pretty antisocial, and wary to hang out w/ people.

tonight will pbly just have a solo wander and drink the sake i bought for my ferry ride.