Day 13: My Beijing Halloween Subway Party Vid

This subway was the latter of two. Heard the Fri one was alright too. The organizer of this one was kinda bummed when i talked to him later, as he'd wanted 1000 people to come out, and only a few hundred were there.

This is the first "funny" vid i've done, and am pretty happy w/ it. Very happy that i managed to dig up a song that works reasonably well (and people say copyright's not such an issue when you use a Chinese band's music, for some reason)...

Anyhow, the website Beijing Cream is going to publish it on their site too, so that's fun. Yoyo said, "Cool. Does that mean you'll get money for it?" Uh, no.

Day 3: The Beijing Halloween Subway Party 2013

The Saturday one, that is.

I decided to go as a reporter. I had 2 press passes stuck into my fedora, carried a camera, and had my face beat up and glasses broken. 'Cause if you cover sensitive news in China, that's what can happen. I worried that the costume may be tempting karma, but risked it.

The party was pretty fun, though pbly would've been funner if i was just drinking and not worrying so much about if my shot was in focus or not.

then afterwards me and a few friends were sitting around OUTSIDE of the subway exit. maybe for like 10 min. There were a few cops around, as there had been during the whole subway party. They were talking w/ Yoyo at one point. Then i hear Yoyo say, "he's a reporter. He's canadian." Then they're asking me for my business card. I lie and say i don't have any. Then they say "All foreigners in China need to carry their passports w/ them at all times. Where is yours?" I'm like, oh fuck, like i want to deal w/ this. i said i could write it out for them. i was dumb enough to write out my actual passport #. Then he read it back to me, but he thought the J was an I. "Yes, that's correct." I say. He seems satisfied, and we run away.

Lesson: Be careful w/ yr karma.

Will post the vid when it's ready. 

Rub a Dub Dub

Today I officially became a voice actor for the movie above. I'm a cook who's all excited to serve Mao spicy food in camp. It's a tiny bit part, but it was fun enough. To make it fit the character's mouth, the director was calling out ideas from the control studio (I was in teh sound booth). "Try saying, 'I know you like spicy food.' or 'I know you like it spicy hot' or 'now the cooks here are very good' or whatever. It wasn't really sticking to the script that close. Felt a bit sorry for those bastards spending LOONG f'ing days in that lil' room. But that's what it takes to iron out a piece of government propaganda.

(The movie is all state-sponsored, and all sorts of dirty tricks were employed to get people into the theatres and to inflate ticket sales, ha).

Somebody said i'll be getting paid for it. Which'd be cool, though i don't really expect it. Either way, my voice didn't really fit that guy's face at all, which makes me worry that it might be a bit like the scene below:

Grimes in Beijing

Grimes played Beijing. Yup, the Canadian who music snobs say made the best track of 2012 came out to Beijing, and i somehow landed on the media list. Yaaaay! (can't say there's really any other performers who'd top my list of wanna see concerts.)

Here's what some punk at CRI said about it.

Unsurprisingly, the sold out show at Mao Livehouse was packed to the gills, Beijing's international contingent out in full force to hear the Canadian perform what the New York Times hailed as "one of the most impressive albums of the year." Fears that the music which Grimes slaved over in post-production might not stand up in a solo live performance were quickly allayed. She twisted synth knobs, flung out her arms and pranced about the stage. Her shimmering falsetto whispers swept through the mic and soaked people in reverberated harmonies that sounded too good to be real. Through the performance, Chinese dancers ground their hips on the flanks of the stage, and somehow only proved that Grimes alone was the sole focus of the night.

Beforehand i was feeling kinda exhausted. All week i'd bn kinda dreading standing for hours on end squished in between sweaty strangers. But by the time my fears came to be, i was totally into it. So i'm not too old quite yet, i guess.

Here's somebody's fuzzy vid of the live performance if yr interested.

It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

No, I didn't see the movie. 

But like many people, I'm open to the possibility that December 21st, the end date of the Mayan Calendar may be (approximately) be an indication of some sort of spiritual shift in the collective consciousness. 

Considering that i actually have a deep dark beliefs about humanity catastrophically fucking the environment up the ass (not that there's anything wrong w/ making anal love for those who enjoy it), i wonder if we may be crossing that threshold of this "new era". 

I also wonder if we may shortly witness the end of capitalism (as we know it) and (imo) insanely narrowminded growth models. 
i don't expect these things to happen on Friday. i don't really expect anything to happen. Though apparently 20% of Chinese people are worried, buying candles and stuff. Luckily i already have some at home. 

This Friday, my plan is to finish work, then go to Beihai Park downtown w/ Yoyo and Derrick, and walk around to the top of the hill and have a view of the city as anarchy breaks out. 

At the very least, i think this Friday is a particularly good time to embrace the symbolism of the end of an era, the beginning of an era. i plan to stay squeaky clean sober, be (sort of) in nature and w/ loved ones. Maybe create something, but i haven't thought things through that far yet. 

Interestingly enough, Terrence Mckenna and hisTimewave Zero hypothesis is set to happen this Friday also.  (It was originally calculated for Nov, but he readjusted it to align w/ the Mayan calendar). Anyhow, he believes the universe is a "novelty machine", creating new, never before seen/had experiences, and that this Friday, we'll reach "a singularity of infinite complexity in 2012, at which point anything and everything imaginable will occur simultaneously." Unsurprisingly, he was on mushrooms when he came up w/ the idea. 

i think i may have had a similar experience (on mushrooms, incidentally), and it's truly truly truly like nothing you've ever imagined before. i was completely befuddled by an experience for which words seemed completely inapplicable. Later on i found that Zen Buddhists summed it up impressively with just 3 words: "All is One". 

So there i was walking the streets of Seattle, flabbergasted to experience this thing which was bigger than time itself, this thing which OBVIOUSLY predated the Big Bang and the universe itself. And yes, i still take it as concrete evidence that my experience was real, because of course my tiny little simple mind could never imagine something so unimaginable or REAL. But the incredible thing was that... everything was also totally NORMAL. i'd just noticed something that had always been there. Like noticing a little birthmark on your ankle. Oh hello, you've always been a part of me, but i wasn't paying you any attention.  

So. Just in case there is a shift, and you do notice a birthmark on your ankle, i hope that you can just smile and relax. Some people may see that birthmark and freak out, call the doctor, try to cover it up, try to hack it off.  But i think it would be better to get to know that birthmark, 'cause it's not about to go anywhere. 

But like i said: i don't really expect any birthmarks this Friday. 


For way more information about this than you want to know check out Wikipedia here. 

Xi'an and the Fam

Overnight train to Xi'an.
One night in posh hotel (by myself, paid for by Yoyo's aunt).
Overnight train bk to Beijing.

Met Yoyo's mom, two aunts, two aunts' husbands, one cousin, one cousin's husband, one cousin and cousin's husband's kid, plus another aunt's son. That aunt wasn't there, but she did send me a ridiculously massive care package for some unexpected reason.

They were all extremely friendly, and were quite forgiving about my inadequate Chinese. One aunt gives me a serious lecture about how a woman shouldn't have kids after the age of 30, but i would do more research to confirm.

Hung out a bit w/ just Yoyo and her mom shooting the breeze and that was pretty chill. Apparently the gang all think i'm a decent enough chap. Yoyo's mom said i'm "interesting" which is fine by me.

Spring Festival, i'll go to Yoyo's hometown to hang out w/ both her parents. Apparently her dad already bought a bed for me to sleep on. Derrick's invited too, though he might not make it out.

Daytimes in Xi'an me and Yoyo went out just the 2 of us to do slightly touristy stuff like visiting the Famen Temple (pictured), the museum, or wandering around ancient streets buying snacks. (Yum, why the hell don't they make that shit in Beijing?)

Well, that's about it. Yoyo hangs out in Xi'an a bit longer, i go bk to work.

Day 25: Marathon Not

A dream ago, i'd planned to run 3 marathons this year. i registered for this last one but ended up doing zero preparation for it. i figured, ok, i can still do a 1/2, even though my fever 2 days ago had me struggling to stay on my feet after an hour.

But the final blow came this morning when the BJ Air Quality Index came in reading 340: Hazardous.

My limit for exercising outside is 250 (over 200 is already "Very Unhealthy". A  couple weeks ago, the AQI was 240, and i really wanted to do the one hr bike ride to work, so i figured i risk it. Plus i have a mask. But 40 min in, i realized i need to recalibrate my limit. My lungs were feeling tight, my breath was raspy and my throat felt like i'd been drinking something too acidic. i slowed down. i felt like my effort to be healthy was in fact poisoning me.

Today, the five people in my running group who were registered to run all decided to forgo the event.

But i had already eaten a carb-heavy breakfast, and Yoyo and i had downed our coffees. So we went down anyways just to have a peek. Also i had some coworkers who were there.

We got there 5 min before staring time. At my insistence, my coworker had left my race package outside subway exit B for me, but it had shockingly disappeared by the time i got there.

Then me and Yoyo went to see the race, and we ended up joining the whole 4km event, along w/ a thousand or so peeps, many in funny costumes. Somebody from Greenpeace saw our masks and interviewed us about air quality. Anyhow, being super disorganized worked out amazingly well, as it allowed me and Yoyo to stick together. Lucky, 'cause if we just wasted time looking for my race package and missing the race, it woulda been a bummer.

Yoyo tries on a shoe.

The Jesus and Mary Chain at China Music Valley Festival

I was totally shocked when I first read that the Jesus and Mary Chain were coming to Beijing to play a show. As a teenager, I was a bit of headcase for these four young leather-clad lads. Headed by Jim and William Reid with their unruly locks, they were quintessential UK Britrock, plus they heralded the use of screaming feedback to accompany the sort of melodic songs that people can write within a week of picking up a guitar. Not only that, but they shamelessly advocated drug use in their songs, and made numerous explicit metaphors about oral sex. What teenager wouldn't love them? My walls were plastered with several Mary Chain posters. I would break a sweat to realize that the library had a new copy of Melody Maker which had a cover feature about the new JMC album. I shamefully cut out the article and thumbtacked it to my bedroom wall. My own songwriting and vocal style are directly indebted to the JMC. My list of Things To Do In This Lifetime included seeing the Jesus and Mary Chain live. I kinda crossed it off the list as i grew less enamoured with them over the years, but that's no reason not to see them when they come knocking on your doorstep. They were the Saturday headliners. William's probably doubled his weight since the days when he and his bro wrote Psychocandy. Pretty decent-sized crowd stuck out for the whole show, despite a thunder and lightning storm which took place. Even in their heyday they had a reputation for being shit performers, so I didn't expect much. Plus they're like 20 years older. Pluse Jim and William hated each others guts for years after the break up. Etc, etc... William shuffled around, hunched over his guitar, never looking up at the crowd (as he's always done). Jim's voice sounded exactly the same as before, and he sang much better than i was expecting. Not only that, but he seemed quite pleasant. He said "xiexie" a number of times. He even cracked a couple jokes, which kinda shocked me. "I'd like to say thanks to everyone for sticking it out through the rain. And fuck off to all of those who didn't." He actually seemed pretty gracious. i guess you shouldn't be an angsty teen up into your 50s. Hell, they even played an encore. They didn't sound great, but it did sound pretty good. Mostly i was happily drowning in nostalgia, singing along with most every song. Shit, when's the last time I thought about songs like Blues From a Gun, or Sidewalking? It was pretty darn fun. Also Glasvegas (who totally rocked the casbah) played Some Candy Talking earlier on. Actually, the Glasvegas version actually sounded better. But you know how it is: it's all about the music. It's not about the... oh, never mind.

Spring Festival 2012

Having left the teaching profession, i now get one week off for spring fest, as opposed to 4. That's fine, but it forces you into the train and plane ticket rush as millions of people try to get home in time for Chinese new year's day, the Chinese equivalent of Xmas. So... i opted not to visit Q's parents and stay in BJ for the big day. Yes, that may very well have repercussions, but i think it was the right call.

At first, i was rather unsure how i'd kill 8 days of holiday, but it somehow disappeared in a flash, and not once did i work on my painting or guitar song. It was pretty packed with dinners, bars, hiking, fireworks and temples. And recovery time.

i also went to visit a good friend from Acadia, the only edu student who i kept contact with. She's in Shanghai now, so i went there on the shiny new 300km/hr+ train. And amazingly, post-NYD tix were a breeze to nab.

i enjoyed my friend's use of colourful language, but was disappointed that she was uninterested in going to see SH's coolest bar, built into an old bomb shelter. So i went solo. Knocked on the unlabelled door. No answer, so i left.

Then i found a bar that had a pretty bike in the window. And 5 pretty girls sitting inside smiling and beckoning me to enter. So i did. They were well-inebriated, and offered me a baijiu shot within 20 seconds of conversation, but i sneakily managed to escape into the interior, where i struck up a conversation with the bartender about bikes, since the bar was called Bikes and Friends and had bicycle paraphernalia scattered throughout. Oh, and i just bought a fixie bike myself last week.

He was from Toronto. Nice guy. Introduced me to some guy from New York. Who invited me bk to their table. Introduced me to a couple Taiwanese women and a NYC ABC dude. i tentatively ordered a glass of white, since at the Buddhist temple that afternoon, i thought i might take a break from alcohol that night.

But then as the night carried on, rounds of tequila shots were ordered until the bar ran out, resulting in Shoju shots and other bad mixers etc, a couple boys pulled down their pants to wave their bums around, i failed to elicit interesting commentary about Taiwan's election from the pretty woman, one guy confessed to me how "bad" he was because he had a wife and a mistress, and a good time was had by all. Suddenly it was after 5am.

To sum up:
I tripped and smashed my head into a stool, and got a cut over my lip.
The taxi pulled over to let me puke over the side of the express-way.
And i slept through my alarm and missed the train home.

Well, i know Q doesn't exactly approve of this sort of behaviour, but i think it's good to get it out of my system when she's not around, ha.

So Long Last Year, Hello This One

2010 ended with an argument with my girlfriend, in the midst of a stressy getaway to the seaside city of Qingdao. The plan to even go out for midnight got scrapped.

From there, the months started rolling by. Here's what i think of when i think of 2011 highlights.

• Super stressy negotiations and secret meetings about bullshit decisions made by ill-qualified educators.
• Travelling solo to Chengdu and Chongqing, eating MSG laden street food intensity.
• Sort of quitting, sort of getting fired, and thank God for that.
• Tuesday meditation nights, barely attended, but generally ongoing.
• Trigger happy photoshooting w/ my GF in Vienna.
• Lucky enough to score a new job.
• Generally lucky all around.

And for NYE, a bunch of friends spent midnight underneath the world's 2nd biggest television screen along w/ a couple thousand people. Then we slipped into an underground dance club where i was happily drunk and the GF was happily sober, and the music was a lot better than we'd expected.

As for 2012... i have a feeling that it's going to be pretty different from 2011.

Not sure about Mayan calendar mayhem, but... i suspect that energetically, things could be more intense than usual. So i reckon that taking that into account, it could be particularly beneficial to be self-aware, doing your best to promote your own good karma, as well as that in others.

And of course, i won't be surprised if global economic/environmental meltdown starts happening. i know, i know, patience is its own virtue...

Cheers, everyone. Hope that your 2012 is as balanced, forgiving, epiphanic, wild, and peaceful as you need it to be.



Photo: not mine.

Hitting the Air Waves

Well, i definitely feel that this could be a better product, but it's not bad for a 1st go, after teaching myself Adobe Audition, and how to use the recording studio, blah blah.

i submitted it to a radio head, and she aired it on China Now. Then the weird thing, is the next day, my brother says he listened to it on Global Times, which is not even the state media i work for.

Anyhow, for those interested in my 1st ever self-produced radio piece, i present to you:

The Changing Face of Beijing Architecture

Here's some pix of the buildings too.


Galaxy Soho

Local car attendant: "It's beautiful. Of course I like [Galaxy Soho], but I can not live in it." [Photo: CRIENGLISH.com/William Wang]

Wangjing Soho

Phoenix International Media Center

Day 11 - Single's Day

'11-11-11!!!
That many single digits of singular value can only mean one thing: today is SINGLE'S DAY. You poor suckers in North America have no day to celebrate a life which hasn't tossed a partner onto your pathway. So. Why don't you guy find some other lonely souls and have dinner together. Ironically, Singles Day is to help people hook up.

News: CRI called me today to ask me to start up on Monday. Sure ok, can do.

Sorry to the Chinese school. i went in today, and they gave me another free 3 hrs of trial lesson, and i promised them to be back on Mon. But now i'll have to stand them up.

i guess now i really need to exploit my last few hours of free time. Speak of the devil. i got me a deadline. Who's an [artist's] best friend?


pic from http://makergo.com/shutup/index.php?s=Dirt+Balls

Day 2 - PalindromemordnilaP (MOM and DAD)

Today is 2011-11-02. Woohoo!oohoow.
Palindromes are oft believed to be good luck.

Today was also the last day of my parents' 2 week visit to China. My bro and i showed them a rather good time. We're both barely employed, which gives them reason to nag here and there, but it also freed us up to really take them around, which i was totally unable to do the last time they were in town. In fact we hung out way more than in Calgary even.

Me and D really played the Good Sons, i thought, by organizing most everything, getting them transit passes, playing tour guides, picking up and dropping off, all that.

Also me and my folks ducked out to visit Pingyao, the incredibly well-preserved Qing dynasty financial capital of China. Which they enjoyed, despite the offences of every noise and inconvenience which make the place charming.

Other stuffs:
-Patiently let my mom shop as much as she wanted.
-w/ Q's help lined up many quality eateries.
-and a few select cheap-o ones.
-went to see a Puccini opera.
-taught Mom how to use a cell phone.
-forced my mom to appreciate modern art (and Ai Weiwei)
-Got drunk a couple times drinking baijiu with my dad.

If you didn't know it, my parents are actually pretty cool. i'm a lucky kid.

But back to the palindromes (note the cyclic structure) here's Weird Al to drive the point home.

Nov 1 - Halloween

Well, it's National Blog Posting Month! And strangely enough, i'm still blogging. Tune in for daily quirky and cute observations about current events and random musings.

First: the night of Satan worshiping.

On Saturday, D bumped into our neighbours (who we'd never met before) and got invited to their Halloween party, which was very entertaining drunken time. I was a mediocre Hank Williams Sr, D had a black bag on his head. "I know who you are," announced one girl to him, "You're the rapist!"

Monday we hit a club to see a ridiculously packed concert of banging electro rock. Before leaving i figured i oughta throw together a costume, found a box, a tennisball, some wires, and a bike light. Presto: the 30 minute robot. Boy, it sure is easy to impress sometimes. Although i couldn't see that well. i mean, i posed for pictures w/ people including w/ Muammar Gaddafi's arms around me, and i never even saw the guy.

And the show was rad. A Brit duo, done up like Kiss rocked it, as did local act Pet Conspiracy. Okay, even i admit that they could be criticized for more show than substance, but frankly at a drunken party, people dig the show. The more choreographed dramatics, the better.

Here's an older version of the band if yr curious at all...

Biking to Cuandixia

Well, i stayed in BJ for the whole of Golden Week, so still had itchy feet. i decided to cycle out to Cuandixia, a tiny spec of a Ming dynasty village. Although i've been there once before, taking a bike the 90 km there would be a whole new adventure.

My bike. Which has its frame and forks misaligned, after (i suspect) a car backed into it. No gear shifters or cables. Broken seat. A bit of a ramshackle machine, which i love nonetheless.

Headed out at ten. i figured i could get there in about 5 hours. i was wrong. i was def into the mountains when some cyclists heading the other way asked me for directions (ha). Upon hearing my intended destination, one girl exclaimed "Cuandixia is still 40 km away!" This was a revelation. My feeling was that it was 5km away. So not trusting her, i happily poked my head into a tourist office, i passed soon after. "Cuandixia... oh maybe it's 50km further on," said the lady, along w/ some other stuff I couldn't understand.

I was in fact, getting a bit tired already, but figured i'd keep going, and see how far i could get. If need be, i could probably find a hotel somewhere.

I was elated to eventually see a sign reading Zhaitang- 19 km. Zhaitang and Cuandixia are the same place. i pumped those pedals with newfound vigour, and allowed myself more rest stops and pauses to shoot the scenery.

But it turned out that Cuandixia is just a part of Zhaitang. Arriving in Zhaitang means that there was only about 10 more km to get to my destination. i plodded on. Traffic and people were nil. The sky was totally black. Street lights were few. Luckily i had a bike light.

i arrived in Cuandixia at 6:30, took the first room available and pigged out on the overpriced meal that the guesthouse offered.

i figured i deserved a day of rest and to explore the area a bit, before heading bk to BJ. i spent the next day attempting to summit a mountain, giving up both times after getting tantalizingly close. But it also dawned on me that i'm not covered by insurance, and the one mountain face was getting pretty dodgy. the next time my scratched and scarred body gave up in the face of 300m more of dense thorny bushes and trees.

So instead i found a spot to sit, had a toke, and sat there for a long long time enjoying the quiet.

Then went back to town. Ate dinner. Smoked more. Got a beer. went back to my room, and studied mandarin, then watched a show about raising camels. That was a great evening.

Apart from a flat tire, riding back was like lightning. Fast Times at Zhaitang High(way). Five hours return. Plus stops to eat and poke around.

Lessons: Don't calculate distance based on 20km/hrs. Climbing mountains is more like 5km/hr. Install gears on bike before next long trip. Don't forget your patch kit on the stairs at home, dumbass!

A Very Important Number

37 is a scintillating prime number, the fifth lucky prime, the first irregular prime, the third unique prime and the third cuban prime of the form



It is, of course, a factor of all 3-digit base 10 repdigits, such as 111. 37 is the smallest prime that is not also a supersingular prime. It is a centered hexagonal number and a star number!

And did you know that 37 and 38 are the first pair of consecutive positive integers not divisible by any of their digits???

And 37 is a Størmer number! (Since the greatest prime factor of 372 + 1 = 1370 is 137, which is obviously more than 37 twice). How cool is that?

And surely you're fascinated to know that 37 is the only two digit number in base 10 whose product, when multiplied by two, subtracted by one, and then read backwards, equals the original two digit number: 37×2=74, 74-1=73, 73 backwards is 37!

And you probably already knew that 37 is the only two digit number in base 10 with the following property: The difference between the two digits equals the square root of the difference between the number itself and the least common multiple of the two digits!

Today i'm going to try to be the me i want to be.

Info courtesy of wikipedia. Embellishments courtesy of the author

A Brief Meditation Retreat

Scooted out to the outskirts of the city for a 4 day meditation retreat. My friend Yuqi works at this Buddhist centre which is NOT a meditation retreat centre, but he said i could spend some time there. Two Tibetan lamas had just vacated the place, so i didn't have to sleep on a couch.

Too bad, I just missed this one 26 yr old lama who is apparently the 7th incarnation of some important lineage, and all these people were bustling to pay their respects. Yuqi was impressed by the number of China's filthy rich who were present to pay homage.

One lama was still around. He struck me as a slightly grumpy fellow, and I was amused to hear the sound of television commercials sneaking out of his bedroom. "Don't judge," I ineffectively advised myself.

Anyhow.

Nice place. i was informed (several times) i shouldn't pay anything to stay; just help out.

In the end, i didn't get in half as much sitting as i'd hoped. i was busy cleaning and resetting hundreds of candle jars.

And one day we went out to purchase $300 worth of fish, eels, frogs and turtles to be released in a lake to celebrate the anniversary of Buddha's first teaching. We went to some fish market drenched in horrible stink and selected the lucky SOB's who would taste freedom for the second (first?) time. A couple workers lugged our blue bags of fish, amphibians, reptiles and chunks of ice into a van and headed out to the lake with us.

“Hey Yuqi, if we buy these fish, then the store will just be happy and buy more fish to sell, right?”
“Yes, this is a problem.” Yuqi redirects to how these fortunate few turtles were saved from having their bellies sliced open, clawing the air as their blood spouts into a pot of boiling broth before being plopped whole into the pot for a writhing public execution.

“Do these workers think we're weird that we're buying these fish to set them free?”
“No. After the cultural revolution this is a common Buddhist practice.”
Oh.

And of course i had reviewed carefully in my head the dangers of introducing non-native species into local ecosystem and shared my insight.
“Oh yes. Food chain...” Yuqi gave a rather insufficient explanation of how these species wouldn't fuck things up so bad, but i didn't press my case.

At the lake, the lama led the present Buddhists in five minutes of prayer before pouring some blessed water into the squirming bags which were carefully lined along the sandy bank.

It was cool to see those turtles sprint out of the bag and swim into the depths out of sight. I dedicated the turtles' liberation to that poor bugger back in the mandarin school. The frogs who were clawing their way up the walls of the bag were less climactic to watch. Once they'd tasted the air and sun and water they seemed content to lounge. Which is fine, but the few frogs who didn't survive the journey sadly tainted the scene with their limp limbs and pale bellies.

The next day, i had offered to cook dinner since at the centre there seemed to be some interest in western cuisine. Oh! You like potatoes! Fried potatoes! That was their understanding. I concocted a menu of mushroom cream pasta, salad, and (for them) potatoes.

However the list of ingredients i'd requested weren't all available. Nobly, I held my tongue and said, “Great! No problem.” I prepared the meal for seven, which admittedly was not stellar. The lama in particular seemed unable to eat what i'd prepared. Others smiled and said “Delicious!” Internally i rolled my eyes and said a not insincere “thanks.” My suspicions were later confirmed when later bottled peaches and apricots were bust out to ensure the lama or anybody else didn't go to bed hungry. However, in fact i think i did a decent job at trying my best to make a decent meal, and in not beating myself up so much when it didn't pan out according to plan.

On my last day there, some cute woman arrived to attend the lamas' prayers. As soon as i saw her, i felt conflicted. In general i avoided her and made evasive comments before going off to whatever i was going to do. Later we ended up working together cleaning more candle jars. She was super friendly and interesting, explaining about how she had turned to Buddhism after she was diagnosed with cancer, and survived the experience. It was all pretty fascinating, but i did my best to stay somewhat aloof 'cause i thought she may be interested in me. Anyhow, I need to figure out how to be open and friendly with open and friendly people while keeping within appropriate boundaries. In the end I think I probably came off as a touch rude. Sorry, lady.

I sat less than 1/2 the hours i'd planned, and certainly did't get to the depth of meditations i'd hoped for, but coming home afterwards, i disembarked the subway and walked through Beijing alleyways while listening to a guided meta (loving kindness) mp3, and could feel this field of positivity emanating from my core as i strolled along. But I still avoided eye contact w/ passers by. Just in case.

Up Up and Away

Well, sort of.

Here's my unsuper recap of summer.

Mandarin class wrapped up surprisingly quickly. I wrote the school an email and talked to some lady about the turtle who lives in an aquarium that's far too small for him, and lives a life of utter boredom and discontent, but it doesn't look like they're gonna do anything about it.

The class itself was ok, and met some nice foreigners who all speak roughly the same level of chinese as me (except that i was by far the illiterate one). And i also would have preferred a teacher who was more of a Nazi. Less friendly chit chat, and more Today we MUST get through exercises A, B, C, D and E!

Watched a bunch of vids and movies w/ my gf, who's worked as much as ever through this rainy, hot July. Transformers got slaughtered by the critics, but i thought it was pretty refreshing after the abysmal part 2. I won't tell you why, in case you go and see it. But it does some interesting historical reinterpretation.

Also: The Hangover. Pretty f'ing funny. Don't read the back of the DVD box first, if you can. Really.

And then: today i'm of to some buddhist place for a 4 day retreat. Although i'm sure the place isn't set up as a retreat centre, and there's a possibility i may be sleeping on a couch. Which is fine.

Then back for a couple days, whereupon me and Q will throw our lives into suitcases for a few weeks. YES she got the visa! So we'll be off to Budapest, Hungary for Abe and Judit's wedding. Then off solo to explore Hungary, Slovakia, Czech Republic, and Germany. Yes, it'll be a busy few weeks.

And then i'll return to a jobless life in BJ, whereupon i'm hoping that my ex-employer forgets that they gave me that 1 year visa, and DON'T cancel it leaving me an illegal resident who could get kicked out of the country forever more.

i don't expect it to come to that.

Expect more scintillating updates upon my return, dedicated readers!

Great Wall Marathon #3

Last year i ran the great wall 1/2 marathon. After crossing the start line i was thinking, "Hey, i should do the full marathon next year." And that seemed like a good idea. However, for the last 3 km of that race my thought had subtly transformed into "Full marathon? What the hell kind of stupidly insane idea is that?"

None the less, this March i decided to overlook that gained wisdom, and did sign up for the full race. And started running 30 min to work most days (in a shirt and modestly striped tie) which was a painful slog of a start to the morning. Then considering the quickly approaching race date, i decided to just switch bk to the 1/2. Even my brother was wisely recommending I drop the full distance.

But then the week before the race day, I figured, Why Not? Why not do the 42k? Why not take my time? Walk as much as I want and not care about the chiseled bodies blurring past...

So i loaded my mp3 player w/ all the requisites: a pumping Japanese DJ, goofy Pizzicato 5 tracks, somber Radiohead ones, comical David Sedaris stories, and my ever present Chinesepod lessons (which incidentally do little to motivate the thighs).

i packed up my bag, peeled myself out of bed.Bit of a rush job actually: forget a visiting the 7-11. Find a taxi. Now. Helloooo, taxi??? I got the recon point and for the 3rd time hopped onto a 3:30am bus off to the Huangyanguan Great Wall. This felt much more respectable than crawling onto the bus after a night of booze and bands as I'd done previously.

Few hours later, i hopped off the bus, and was shocked to find how f'ing cold it was. i was wearing 2 shirts and a pair of vintage bell bottoms which i thought might be more pragmatic than my shorts. Got a hot drink to try and warm up, but my shaking hand kept spilling the coffee all over my wrist. I was not impressed.

Waiting for the sun come up and squeezed into a windless corner w/ a handful of other intrepid runners, i had an opportunity to ask moronic questions like, "How important is breakfast before a full marathon?" After rolling her eyes, a blonde girl was so generous as to toss me a granola bar.

Eventually the sun did make its grand entrance. I hurriedly peeled off down to my running outfit, which announced loudly to my peers "This Guy Isn't A Runner", and huddled into the start line group.

Then we were off. Running, running, running. Running like... turtles. We were a cloud of skinny limbs, gently nudged forward by the breeze. The road zigzagged up the mountain, and the large majority of people around me opted to walk. Sounds good to me. There was a long way to go, why burn out on that stuff? Last year i did the 1/2 in 3 hrs, s. i figured anything under 7 hrs today would be a smashing success.

Once we got on the wall itself, more walking. Waiting. Walking. Single file sometimes.

Then down and running again.

A bit of chitchat w/ a guy from Detroit. Nice enough dude, but in the end we didn't have tons to talk about, and it turned a bit uncomfortable that we continued to keep passing each other. I started keeping my eyes peeled for him so I could either keep ahead or stay behind him. Maybe slip past him at a water station.

The 21 km marker passed, which took it's lazy ass time to show its face, loitering at the crest of a hill. No fanfare, no bananas or water or smiling underage race officials waving you on. But i did notice i felt infinitely better than when i had hurled myself over the finish line last year. Were i not running, i'd have paused for thought.

By this point, my inadequate breakfast was certainly filling my thoughts more than it did my stomach. Confused by the lack of anyone selling chips, chocolate bars or cookies, i would note every tab of plastic littered on the road, indicating that some foreigner had imported and consumed an energy bar or power gel.

Eventually i found a spot to duck into, and wasted a few minutes before deciding on some arrowroot biscuit copycats. Immediately I started popping copious amounts of these delectable wafers into my mouth. Mmm. Mmmm. Strangely melting in the mouth without making it dry or pasty...

Chitchat w/ some southern US girl about hills and stairs. Later i chitchat w/ some guy from the southern US about his cowboy hat and other such miscelanea. For some reason i mention the girl i had just met. "Yeah. That's my girlfriend. You were running 200m ahead of me." Ha. We eventually caught her at a drink station, and i let them lovers be.

Then round 2 on the wall. At this point, there was only about 15k to go. I'd noted earlier that some runners looked like they were dying. Pasty, pale, and sticky. Others looked like they were just plunking along, as if they were a bit late for book club. Not a hair out of place. In fact, I fell in the latter category. So i figured i oughta step it up a bit before i got to the finish line. By this time on the wall, i was passing quite a few people. Notably for me, i was passing quite a few people who looked rather like runners. You know: short shorts and Ts made of synthetics. Belts holding cute little plastic bottles of red gels. As opposed to me in my faded brown cargo shorts and knock-off Astroboy T.

I ran up some stairs since, hell i'd practiced in a few towers beforehand. That seemed to impress a few onlookers. Then it was just about 6km left to the finish line, all paved, all downhill, so i figured i oughta run it w/out stopping. Which was actually pretty hard. But i was passing people like mad which was gold for my ego.

However, when i run really tired, i start breathing strangely loud in a rhythmic Huh-Huh-Huh! Frankly it's quite embarrassing in that unintentional drama queen way. So i tried stifling it into a more subtle Hooh-Hooh-Hooh, in an effort to keep fellow runners from thinking i was some freak who was knocking himself out to pass them. At any rate, i avoided eye contact so as to remain ignorant of their judgement.

i even passed this crazy mofo who had at this point ran 40k in scrappy old SANDALS! Nutbar. i suspect a Thai nutbar. Eat my dust, Thai nutbar.

Anyhow, i crossed the line and felt good. Not good like these other runners who were posing for pictures exultantly holding their medals in the air, but still considerably better than when I almost passed out last year. i almost felt... disappointed. All that expectation. All that fear about my shorts chaffing my legs into bloody welts (which i've seen on runners before). Sure, there were some people waddling around like elderley mallards and a few limpers. But my body seemed anticlimactically...fine. No vomit. No seized muscles the next day. Nada.

Final time: 6hrs, 15 min. Not bad! Plunked me down somewhere in the middle of the finishers. I gloated a bit 'cause I beat sponsored team runners in their fancy outfits. After I checked the times and my placing, i felt like next time i shouldn't putz around taking pictures, purchasing stuff, or popping into buddhist temples and feeling forced by monks to make donations. (Yeah. i did that).

Next year? Maybe. Truth is, the race is kind of a monetary rip off, but it is one of the few ways for me to muster up the energy to exercise. Well there's also the BJ marathon in Sept, which i'll pbly do later. They say a regular marathon is a piece of cake compared to the great wall. Maybe. It also seems considerably less interesting to run 42k of polluted flat city roads. We'll see.

Anyhow, for now, it's shoes in the closet, and back on 2 wheels.

Tianjin, Yet Again

Q and i went to Tianjin for a little holiday recently. It's only 35 min away via hi-speed rail but it is def a diff city. Um, you may recall i've visited it before a few times.

i still say BJ is better 'cause the new stuff's newer and the old stuff's older. But when i got a 3 day wkend, i get itchy feet.

So despite TJ's mediocrity, we had a pretty darn good time. 1st night we were looking for a bar, and got directed on a bit of a goosechase which wound up in what was essentially a massive packed nightclub except that it didn't have a dancefloor. Save for a mini stage replete w/ dancing bunny girls.

The dancing bunny girls reminded me too much of when a few of my own gr 10 students did a disturbingly sexed out dance performance.

Also the pumped dancing bartenders were pretty entertaining too.

Some guys did some live vocals which were passable. but in the end, the music went from not so bad to pretty darn bad, and we weren't able to finish our couple beers before vacating the premises.

Next day: walk walk walk walk and wound up in the TV tower rotating restaurant. Pix to follow soon.

Anyhow, it was good to a little trip out w/ the gf and things are going pretty good all in all. Sure, there's wrinkles in the fabric, but i've never been one to iron shirts, have i?