The life and death of Sidd story

Once upon a time there was some energy floating through the universe, far, far away. It was quite happy just going past the beautiful stars and the planets. For that energy, one second, one hour and a hundred years were all the same.

Then the energy floated past our sun, and saw a tiny blue planet nearby. It floated down to the planet and saw that the planet had water, trees, penguins, fish, hedgehogs, lions, butterflies and other animals.

The energy thought, ‘Hm, maybe I’d like to be a tree for a while.’ The energy went into a tree and grew very tall, and lived for 100 years, giving birds and squirrels a home.

Then the energy thought, ‘Hm, maybe I’d like to be a coyote.’ The energy went into a coyote and grew up in a family, chasing chipmunks and rabbits.

Then the energy thought, ‘Now I’d like to be a person.’ But first it needed two parents. So he floated around and spotted William and Yoyo. They looked very nice and in love. But William didn't want kids. So the energy went into William's dream and showed him the baby it could be, and William asked himself, 'What right do I have to stop you from being born?' When William woke up, he decided he could have a baby with Yoyo.

The energy went into Yoyo’s belly and started growing. First it was so small, you couldn’t see it. Then it grew to be as big as a grape! Then it grew to be as big as a pineapple! By now the energy was a tiny boy, and mommy’s womb was getting to be too small.

One day, there was a white light, and the boy was being pushed out. He was a little scared! Then his head poked out, and it was very bright, and a bit cold. He looked around, like ‘What the hell is this place?’ Mommy quickly gave him a hug and some milk.

The baby Sidd grew into a little boy, who grew into a big boy, who grew into a strong young man. Later, he grew into an old man, and would get sick and cough. The energy felt that being a human was nice, but it missed floating past the stars. So it floated away from the body, out to the sky, to the stars. Some people were sad when Sidd died, but the energy wasn’t sad. It just floated out peacefully into the universe; and the past, present and future were all the same thing once again.

Sidd requested a story about three little shoes

Once upon a time, there were three little shoes, lost in the forest where somebody dropped them. It was winter and there were some dogs running around, and they all had cold feet from the snow. A dog found the shoes and put them on his feet. He now had three warm feet, but he still had one foot with no shoe.

When the other dogs saw him, they were very jealous. ‘Wow! You have three shoes! I wish I had even just one shoe to keep me warmer.’ But the dog only complained. ‘Three shoes looks dumb. I should have four.’ The others insisted, ‘You have three warm feet! We are all cold in the snow.’ But the dog wouldn’t listen. ‘My one foot is still cold,’ he complained.

Then when he was walking home, he crossed an icy road without looking both ways. A speeding car tried to stop, but slid on the ice.

Bump! The car hit the dog!

The dog had to go to the vet, and the vet said the dog’s leg was hurt and it had to be cut off. Now the dog only had three feet. And three shoes to wear.

‘Now you have three shoes on three feet!’ the other dogs exclaimed. ‘How do you feel about that?’

The dog looked at them and said nothing.

[last line completed by Sidd, much better than how i’d planned to end it]    

Sidd requested a story about a mushroom and celery and asparagus, etc...

Once upon a time, there was a mushroom, riding his bicycle along. He wasn’t paying very close to where he was going and then … thump!

‘Oh no, what was that?’ He looked back and saw a piece of celery lying on the ground behind him.

‘Hey are you okay?’

The celery just lay there.

The mushroom called 9-1-1, and waited for a response.

‘This is Emergency. What is the problem?’

‘I hit some celery with my bicycle, and now she’s just lying on the road!’

‘Is she alive?’

‘I don’t know!’

‘Is she breathing?’

‘I don’t know!’

‘Calm down, okay? Can you see the chest rising? Can you feel any breath coming out of the mouth?’

‘Yes. I can. She’s alive.’

‘OK, good. So you keep an eye on her. We’re sending an ambulance right away.’

Soon the mushroom heard a siren approaching. ‘Weeoo - weeoo!’

An asparagus driver leaped out of the ambulance, put the celery on a stretcher and loaded her into the ambulance. He was driving along when he heard the celery moaning. He turned around to check on her.

‘Hey, are you okay?’

And then he felt something. Bump bump!

‘Oh no, what was that?’

The asparagus jumped out and ran behind the ambulance and saw a piece of baby spinach lying there. Oh no, he hit the baby spinach! Then he looked up and saw the mommy spinach standing nearby.

He checked the baby spinach but … the spinach was dead.

‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!’ he said to the mother. But the mommy spinach just looked at her baby and didn’t say anything. Then she turned away and stared at the ground.

The asparagus called the hospital and they sent somebody to take the mushroom to the hospital. Then he loaded up the spinach and drove to a place where there was a giant wooden bowl in the ground.

Inside the bowl were other dead vegetables - cucumbers, sliced up tomatoes, pieces of lettuce. He slowly took the spinach out, softly dropped it into the bowl and watched it settle on the other vegetable pieces.

Then he heard a voice.
‘Look out! Here come the croutons!’

Pieces of hard bread fell onto the dead vegetables.

The voice called out again.

‘Stand back! There’s dressing coming!’

A liquid splashed out over all of the vegetables and croutons.

‘Goodbye, little spinach. Sorry I killed you,’ said the asparagus to himself. Then he climbed back into his ambulance and drove away.

Sidd: 'I feel confused'

I think my son is turning into a sensitive little guy.

After a week in Calgary with my parents and brother, he's started indicating that he's got strong feelings of missing people.

In Calgary he was missing Yoyo's mom, and got a little down when he was asked to do a little tai chi 'demonstration.'

He was bummed when my brother went back to Calgary and almost refused to say goodbye, but eventually ran and gave him a big hug.

Then me and Sidd went sledding with friends, and then he had to say goodbye to them. We left and he looked at me seriously and said, 'Daddy. I feel confused.'

Never heard him say anything of the sort before, and was pretty surprised that he even picked up the word 'confused.' I'm pretty sure he's wondering why people have to say 'goodbye,' and end the good times. He concurred that he was thinking of my brother.

We Skyped my brother and dad, and he was downright melancholy when he announced to each of them, 'I miss you.' Poor guy.

Then he was out of sorts at bedtime, swinging from, 'Daddy, go away. I don't like daddy,' to crying and saying he loves me.

[i admittedly needled him a bit beforehand when he was trying to challenge me, saying, 'Daytime is for sleeping.'

'Actually, you're right. You can have a nap in the daytime.'

'Don't say, "you're right!"'

'OK, want me to say you're wrong?'

'Yeah. Daytime is for sleeping.'

'You're wrong.'

After a bit of this he broke down and finally went to sleep.

I Dream of Loni Anderson

Had a weird dream where Loni Anderson appeared. She had died but reappeared to say a proper farewell to people. She gave me and other people a video about herself, which sounds pretty tacky, but in the dream it was a very sweet gift that i was very pleased to receive. 

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Then i realized it was a dream, even though i was still dreaming. So in this dream, i was wondering why the hell I'd been dreaming about Loni Anderson. 

Then i really woke up. And i was like, Yeah, i haven't thought about Loni Anderson in over a decade. i'd watched a bunch of WKRP in Cincinnati though i frankly never really liked her character much. Why did she pop up in this dream all of a sudden? Did she really die? 

i rolled out of bed and opened up my laptop. I searched out Ms Anderson on Wikipedia. According to the page, she seemed to still be alive. 

So then i googled, "Loni Anderson passed away." 

And...

There at the very top of the page was a link...

"Loni Anderson 2015: Actress Killed by..."

So that was pretty darn crazy. 

I clicked on the link and read the following. 

"Loni Anderson dead 2015" : Actress killed by internet death hoax

News of actress Loni Anderson's death spread quickly earlier this week causing concern among fans across the world. However the May 2015 report has now been confirmed as a complete hoax and just the latest in a string of fake celebrity death reports. Thankfully, the actress best known for her role on the television series WKRP in Cincinnati is alive and well.

The day was from the day before (which is kinda the same day in China, considering time zones). 

Anyhow, so I was NOT contacted by the ghost of Loni Anderson, the actress i'd never cared a great deal for. But i think i WAS tuned into some sort of collective consciousness energy about her. This was also a first for me. Frankly i'm generally not a very energetically tuned in individual. 

My coworker prefers to believe that i'd seen something about this piece of news on the internet. Which is certainly possible, but highly unlikely. i hadn't even been able to access Facebook in over a week, due to Great Firewall issues. 

Anyhow, chalk one point of for me. Because China can censor the internet, but the firewall can't stop energy or consciousness from traveling across space and/or time.  

 

A Weird Dream

I was about to be hung, along with 2 or 3 other people. I had a hood placed over my head and was sat down on the seat of a children's swing set. Some thin rope was looped around my neck and pulled tight. 

I started swinging back and forth, with thinking, "I don't want to die. I want to live. There's so much to live for! And so many rad people. And so much love. Love! Love!"

Then i started sending out metta vibrations, and i realized that Hey, this is a pretty rad way to die!

But then i stopped swinging, and realized that i could see through the hood. There was a window, and a mountain and lake vista beyond it. I really wanted to look out it, so i stood up. 

The executioners were worried. Like, "hey, he's not dead, and he's actually gotten up!" i noticed that one said executioner was J, one of my CRI colleagues/friends. I said, "J, i recognize you. Don't worry, I just want to look out the window." There was no negative feeling at this point. I went up to the window but realized that everything outside was very distant, blurry and kinda disappointing. 

Also, i noticed that the rope around my neck wasn't tight anymore and was kind of falling off. So i was trying to push it back into place.

Then I woke up. 

What does it mean? 

I gather it's about work and CRI. I'm kinda killing myself here now, or at least i feel it's not benefitting me so much anymore. The swingset may imply that it's like a place to play for me. And there i am not exactly committing suicide, but kinda complicit in the act. And no anger at anyone. That's just how it is.

The window: freelance work, i reckon. Windows of opportunity, but frankly not much happening these days. 

DAy 23: women's rights over their own bodies

I'd just finished editing and exporting a video but then when one of the editors saw it, he was like, "Oh, we shouldn't use the part where the chef hugs ZQ." I was confused. The chef won a prize,  ZQ delivered him his present, then he scooped her up in his arms, and everyone laughed. It looked good on film.

Turns out she had requested the pix/vid of that moment not be used. This was a great annoyance to me, since 1) it made my video more entertaining 2) re-editing is more work 3) other people had requested to not be in the vid, and i refused to edit them out, and 4) ZQ is a public figure and she was ON STAGE, so what right does she have to tell anyone not to take pix/vid?

But the more i thought about it, the more it struck me that something deeper was at work in that moment. Four professional chefs (all white men), in a competition. One wins. He playfully scoops up the young woman who delivers his prize, split seconds after another chef cheered him on to do it. "Do it! Do it!" Kind of an ol' boys club thing.

Anyhow, even though ZQ laughed along and was a sport, that she likely didn't want to be picked up. Also she was on stage so she needed to go w/ the flow. But evidently it was a moment when she wasn't in control of her own body.

So anyhow, in the wake of all the Jian Ghomeshi and Bill Cosby biz, i got a bit more tuned into what people mean when they talk about men and our presumed right over women's bodies. Anyhow, on Monday, i'll make that video 3 seconds shorter and re-export it.

Day 19: Headaches

Having a lovely time w/ the CDN immigration folks. But i should'nt go into detail because it would amount to pure complaining. 

Progress made: they have confirmed that they received the immigration package, but there's a problem with it. They apparently sent me an email, but it was def never received. 

I'll call back tonight. 

The difficulties incurred in attaining this information were not mentioned in this blog. 

Day 18: Interstellar

Chris Nolan's big epic sci fi movie tackles relativity, quantum physics, black holes, enviro degradation, and the saving of humanity.

Never before have i rolled my eyes so many times during a movie. From Hollywood cliches to ridiculous dialogue to gaping plot holes to overuse of sfx and soundtrack to squeeze emotions out of viewers... the flick is pretty ridiculous.

But it's also pretty damn entertaining for 3 solid hours.  The plot is pretty gripping, despite its Hollywood hokeyness.Actors all pretty darn convincing. And i admit that i like it that ideas about multiple dimensions are getting fed to the general public. And it does portray a not-so-distant planet Earth that's ecologically fucked by humanity, which is a healthy reminder. But then again, life on a devastated planet is portrayed as being 99% the same as what we see today. And also there's the narrative that after you fuck up the planet you gotta run away to another planet. Hollywood's addiction to sentimental happy endings isn't really challenged, which frankly disappoints me.

Despite well-publicized flaws, Interstellar is a movie that will likely stick in your head far more than the other blockbuster baloney that is today's standard.

Day 15: Crabby

So in the end, the iching basically told me that regarding the crabs, i'd made my point, but whatever i do pbly won't amount to much difference.

Yoyo invited a couple friends over, and we had a big lunch together. i didn't eat the crabs, though i did indulge w/ the potatoes and carrots that were drenched in pork fat. Yummmm.

But before eating the crabs, i untied all of them since i don't imagine being tied up in the fetal position would be very fun for several days. Made me think of the Cultural Revolution when guys had their hands tied up behind their backs, tied so tight that their hands turned completely black due to lack of circulation. Some of them climbed out of the box and scuttled around the apartment for a while. Don't know how they felt about that, but i'm sure it was much much better than sitting around tied up for their last hours.

Then they all got steamed and were reportedly delicious.

Question: is getting steamed any worse than being eaten alive? Nature is a tough lady.